


To Be Needed

by ThePeachyMonkey, TheSleepyProducer



Category: Bull (TV 2016)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Disability, F/M, Family Feels, Major Character Injury, Permanent Injury, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-02-06 09:27:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 38,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12814590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePeachyMonkey/pseuds/ThePeachyMonkey, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSleepyProducer/pseuds/TheSleepyProducer
Summary: Dr. Jason Bull is a successful trial scientist with no meaningful human connections outside of work. Now well into his 40s, he has resigned himself to loneliness. That is, until he meets a single mother and her young son, and everything changes.





	1. When Jason Met Juliana

**Author's Note:**

> I figured it's about time I write a Bull fan fiction, since it's my current favorite show. I know people have mixed feelings about pairing main characters with original characters. But this is the story I want to tell, and I hope you come to love the relationship that develops between Jason and Juliana as much as I do. :)
> 
> Also, for those of you following Silent Treatment, I will be posting chapter 41 next week!
> 
> ~ ThePeachyMonkey

Dr. Jason Bull observed the customers at the bustling coffee shop. His interest in human behavior, and tendency to analyze it, was something he couldn't seem to turn off; a skill that proved a sanity saver as he was made to wait for his much needed caffeine boost.

Tired and caffeine deprived was not a good place to be. And really, there was no reason for Jason to be in the office at 9:30 on a Saturday morning. But it was always good to be a step ahead of the other side while working a case, he reasoned. At the same time, he didn't dare to to admit that he was distracting himself from the fact that he was a man well into his 40s with no meaningful human connections outside of work, and no life outside of the job. And at this point in his life, he was...not so much happy with this. It was more that he was resigned to it.

That was the irony, wasn't it? An expert in human behavior who, outside of the context of the job, rejected human companionship. Well, at least his knack for reading others provided a sort of entertainment. A welcome distraction from the loneliness he'd never admit to.

Jason didn't necessarily like leaving the comfort of an empty building to interact with cranky coffee addicts waiting for their fix. But it would do him some good to get out for a few minutes, stretch his legs, and get some air. Besides, people watching served as a good mental exercise. A way to keep his skills sharp.

When he heard his name called, Jason approached the counter and gratefully took his large Americano and blueberry muffin from the young man behind the counter.

Turning around, Jason was nearly knocked off his feet by a young boy running into him. As it was, the impact caused Jason to spill a tiny amount of coffee onto his coat.

"Daniel!" a woman called frantically, running to the boy and gripping him gently by the arms as she looked him in the eyes. "You have to watch where you're going. You could have hurt that man."

As this exchange between mother and son was taking place, Jason grabbed napkins out of the dispenser, wiping up the spilled coffee as best he could; thankful that his coat was black.

"I am so sorry!" the woman apologized as she approached Jason, hand in hand with the boy. "Are you all right? Can I get you another coffee?"

"It's fine, really," Jason insisted, throwing one final napkin away as he looked up at the woman. "I -"

And that's when, for the first time in the chaos, he truly saw her. Standing about a foot shorter than Jason, with chin length red hair that hung in ringlets, soulful blue eyes, and full, rose like lips that were a natural deep red. It all stood out in beautiful contrast against her pale skin, which was dotted with faint freckles. She was slender, with breasts that, while big in comparison to the rest of her body, appeared to be real.

To put it simply, she was a petite beauty who left Jason momentarily breathless.

Ignoring the flutter in his heart, Jason shook off his stupor and smiled at the woman.

"Still plenty of coffee left," he said, holding up his cup.

Giving Jason a smile that was both appreciative and embarrassed, the woman then scanned the busy cafe, eyes settling on the only empty table left in the place.

"Would you like to join us?" she offered, tilting her head in the direction of said table.

"You sure?" Jason asked, certain the woman was just being polite.

"Positive," the woman assured him, as the trio walked to the table. "I could use some adult conversation."

"Ah." Jason smiled, the woman's story finally coming together in his head. "Yes, I imagine it can get pretty lonely, being a single mom."

The woman gave Jason a bewildered look as she set her cold brew down on the table and took a seat beside her son. "Wait. How did you...?"

"Alone in a busy coffee shop with a young boy, clearly frazzled and sleep deprived," Jason noted, not daring to comment on the dark circles beneath the woman's eyes - which were beautiful nonetheless. "But it was your comment about 'adult conversation' that was the real giveaway."

"Wow." the woman laughed nervously. "You already know so much about me, and I don't even know your name."

"Jason." he told her with a smile, unwrapping his muffin. "Jason Bull."

"Juliana Hudson," the woman introduced herself, returning Jason's smile with her own disarmingly beautiful smile. "And this is my son, Daniel," she said, putting her hand on the boy's shoulder. "Daniel, can you say hello to Jason?"

Daniel was a sweet faced boy, with dark brown hair, brown eyes that shone brightly, and a naturally tan complexion. Judging by his small frame, Jason guessed him to be around 5 years old.

"Hello, Mr. Jason," Daniel greeted, looking up bashfullly. "Sorry I bumped into you and made you spill your coffee."

"It's all right. Really," Jason insisted, giving Daniel a reassuring pat on the arm. "It was just a little spill. No harm done. Besides," Jason cast a flirtatious glance Juliana's way. "If you hadn't bumped into me, I wouldn't have had pleasure of meeting you and your mother. And you both seem pretty great!"

Daniel gasped, eyes widening as he looked between the two adults at the table. "Mom! He likes you!"

"Daniel!" Juliana rested her forehead in the palm of her hand, looking mortified.

"No. It's okay," Jason reassured Juliana, a light touch to her cheek coaxing her to look up at him."I  _do_  like you. And I hope I'm not being too forward...but I'd like the chance to get to know you better."

Juliana laughed nervously, but her eyes met Jason's with a bright affection. She was clearly open to the exchange.

"Well, as you already know, I have a son. I left Daniel's dad when he was 6. And the less that's said about him the better. I..." Juliana stirred her cold brew nervously with her straw, clearly upset at the thought of Daniel's father and trying her best to recover.

"I..uh...I work from home reviewing TV shows for a blog. Not all that impressive a job, I know. But I like the flexibility it gives me. If there's a meeting at Daniel's school, or a doctor's appointment, or whatever, I can be there at pretty much a moments' notice, without having to rearrange my day. "

"You make your son a priority. I'd say that's plenty impressive!" Jason commented, placing his large hand over Juliana's significantly smaller hand.

"Thanks." Juliana blushed. "Are you a parent, Jason?"

"No." Jason shook his head. "And at this point in my life, I think it's a little too late for that."

"You could be my new dad," Daniel chimed in, taking a bite from his breakfast sandwich.

"Daniel, we just met him," Juliana reminded her son with an embarrassed laugh.

"So? He likes you!" Daniel pointed out, grinning.

"A man who knows what he wants. I like that," Jason chuckled. "How old are you, Daniel?"

"I'm 10," Daniel answered, taking a swig of milk. "I know I'm small, but I will eat all your bacon!"

Both Jason and Juliana couldn't help but to laugh at this. Jason had to admit, he liked this kid. And he truly hoped for the opportunity to get to know both him and his beautiful mother a lot better.

"So, what about you, Jason?" Juliana asked, leaning forward. "You know my story, but I know next to nothing about you."

"Fair enough,"Jason chuckled, leaning back and scratching the back of his head. "Like I said, my name is Dr. Jason Bull. I'm -"

"You didn't mention you're a doctor!" Juliana interrupted, clearly impressed.

"Yeah, but not like you think. I'm a trial scientist," Jason clarified.

"Okay...What does that mean?" Juliana asked, intrigued.

"I'm an expert in human behavior," Jason explained. "I study juries. Read their reactions so that I can sway them to vote in favor of my clients."

"Wow...that's really interesting!" Juliana exclaimed. "A field of expertise I never knew existed!"

"Why don't you swing by my office on Monday? Say around lunch time? I can show you around and tell you all about it!" Jason offered, handing Juliana a business card.

"It's a date!" Juliana said agreeably, taking the card from Jason. "Wait...Is it? A date, that is?"

Jason nodded, unable to stop himself from smiling. "It's a date."


	2. Getting Out Of His Own Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting with this chapter, I am writing this story in collaboration with my friend TheSleepyProducer. We're really excited about the story we've got planned! We hope you enjoy this touching story of love and family as it unfolds.
> 
> ~ ThePeachyMonkey

It was around 11:30am when Juliana showed up at the TAC building. Nervous, yet excited, she passed through security and was given a badge that said "TAC visitor" on it. Once inside the elevator, she clipped the badge to her pink dress and straightened it out. As the elevator climbed, she became increasingly nervous about how this first date was going to go. It had been a while since she'd in the dating game.

 

The elevator doors opened, and she walked a short distance down a hallway before arriving at a set of glass doors.

 

The first thing she saw was a bunch of screens and a young lady sitting in front of them. She was taken aback by this huge place with so much technology.

 

"Ma'am? Do you have an appointment?" a charming man in a gray suit and paisley shirt asked, bringing Juliana out of her trance.

 

"Oh! No, I don't have an appointment. I was supposed to meet Jason here for lunch. Oh...ah...I mean Dr. Bull. I was supposed to meet Dr. Jason Bull here at noon." Juliana felt like she was rambling like a fool at this point, allowing her nerves to get the best of her.

 

The man furrowed his eyebrows, tilting his head curiously before motioning her to an office. As they passed by a glass conference room, Juliana noticed three women and a man staring, which made her even more nervous. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and ducked her head, trying not to make eye contact with the group staring her down. They finally reached a glass door, and as the man opened it, Juliana swore she could hear her own heart pounding in dizzying anticipation.

 

"Bull? You have a visitor," The man proclaimed as he leaned inside the door.

 

Jason could not be more excited! All the football he could watch on Thanksgiving could not make him as happy as getting to see Juliana. A huge smile lit up his face as the petite woman walked into his office.

 

"Look at you! You look amazing!" Jason held Juliana at arm's length, taking in her beauty.

 

Juliana blushed at the compliment. She hadn't been told that in God knows how long.

 

Jason pulled Juliana in for a hug, which lasted a lot longer than the brief embrace they shared during their chance encounter at the coffee shop. She laid her head against his chest and took in his scent; a sweet, spicy musk that was warm and comforting. Jason leaned down and kissed the top of her head. Once he let her go, Juliana was smiling from ear to ear.

 

"Well, we still have a little bit of time before lunch," Jason noted, looking at his watch. "Would you like a tour of TAC before we head out?"

 

"Sure! This place looks amazing!" Juliana exclaimed.

 

Jason took her hand and led her past a glass conference room. The group that was in there went from one end to the other, watching their boss lead a beautiful woman around the place. It was very unlike Jason. Who could this mystery woman be?

 

Jason led Juliana down to the mock trial room.

 

"Wow! It almost looks like a real courtroom!" Juliana marveled.

 

"That's the point. We have our mock jurors sit here in the jury section, and we can tell you everything from their body temperature to their heart rate, and which way they are swaying in a trial." Jason said.

 

Juliana could tell Jason loved what he did. Behind those black glasses was a set of beautiful green eyes that lit up as he talked about his job. It was clear that TAC was his baby.

 

Jason took Juliana's hand, leading her up to a room that was filled with monitors.

 

"Wait right here. I want you to meet the team." Jason smiled. He was all giddy about the team meeting Juliana.

 

“Guys, he’s coming!” Taylor announced when they saw the big guy heading towards the conference room.

 

"Okay, everybody act casual. We don't want Dr. Bull to think anything's up." Marissa whispered to the team.

 

Jason opened the conference room door and peeked inside.

 

"Can you guys come out here for a minute?" he grinned.

 

The ladies were all excited to find out who this mystery woman was. Benny hung back and walked out with Chunk.

 

"We're screwed. He probably knows we were looking in on them." Benny whispered to Chunk.

 

As the team filed into the open room that was filled with screens, they noticed something different about their boss. Something none of them had seen before. He was happy!

 

"Everybody, I would like for you to meet the lovely Juliana Hudson." Jason looked like Vanna White as he showed Juliana off to the team.

 

"This here is Marissa Morgan. She is my second in command. She, too, is a psychologist. Additionally, she's an expert in neurolinguistics. We stole her from the Department of Homeland Security. She created the algorithm for mirror jurors and speaks to me through an earpiece during voir dire." Jason commented before moving on to the next person on his team.

 

"Very nice to meet you." Marissa shook Juliana's hand.

 

 _"Gosh! Marissa is beauty and brains,"_ Juliana noted, smiling in adoration at the older woman.

 

"Over here is our in-house counsel, Benny Colon." Jason mentioned "Benny is like the little brother I never had."

 

"Pleasure to meet you." Juliana shook Benny's hand.

 

"Likewise," Benny commented back.

 

 _"Benny would have to look up to his 'big brother', since it seems he's not much taller than me,"_ Juliana thought to herself, trying not to chuckle out loud.

 

"This here is Taylor Rentzel. We keep her around as a DJ for late night dance parties." Jason joked.

 

"Come on, Dr. Bull!" Taylor exclaimed, playfully slapping Jason on the arm "What he meant to say is I'm a technical part of TAC. Any information Dr. Bull needs, I can find it! Dr. Bull stole me from Homeland Security. Marissa and I used to work together back in the day."

 

Taylor seemed to be very smart, no wonder Jason would want her on his staff. She felt a bit of a connection to Taylor; almost  a mothering vibe from her.

 

"This dapper gent is Chunk Palmer, our fashion consultant who fine tunes client's appearances for trial. He's also a law student, and has already provided us valuable insight on many a case."

 

"I believe we've already met." Chunk smirked.

 

"Yes we have. Thank you for showing me the way to Dr. Bulls office." Juliana grinned.

 

Chunk may have shown Juliana to Jason's office, but love had shown her to Jason's heart.

 

"Last but not least is Danny James, our lead investigator. She used to work as a police detective in narcotics, and then as an agent with the FBI before we snatched her." Jason grinned.

 

Danny came off as a bit intimidating at first, but seemed like she could be pretty nice if you actually sat down for a conversation with her.

 

"Well, I'll let you guys get back to work. I'll be back in a little while. Ms. Juliana and I are going out to lunch." Jason smiled down at her before placing a tender hand on her back and leading her to the elevator.

 

As soon as Jason and Juliana were out of sight, the team started talking.

 

"What has gotten into Bull?" Marissa asked.

 

"I don't know! I've never seen him like this," Chunk remarked. "It's like he's..."

 

"In love!" Taylor exclaimed with a big grin.

 

"I don't remember him acting this happy when he was married to Izzy." Benny commented thoughtfully.

 

"Have you guys not realized that Bull is taking a woman out - in the middle of the day, mind you - for a date?! Bull never takes ladies out on dates in the middle of the afternoon! For that matter, he never brings them up here to the office to meet us!" Danny pointed out.

 

"You're right! This calls for a celebration! Let's break for lunch. But be sure to make it back here before Dr. Bull gets back." Marissa smirked. She knew it had been a while since Bull had any kind of meaningful connection with a woman. She was used to him leaving the office and going over to Diana Lindsay's motel for their on again off again relationship. Or, as she called it, friends with benefits.

 

Marissa only hoped that Juliana would treat Bull right. He might look tough on the outside, but deep down, he was a teddy bear in a store just waiting for the right person to come along and make him theirs.

 

 

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

 

 

"You're right. Dessert does taste better when it's shared," Jason said, leaning over receptively as Juliana fed him a bite of chocolate cake.

 

"Mmm...Doesn't it, though?" Juliana moaned, as Jason took the fork from her, feeding her the last bite.

 

Seated on the same side of a booth in a small diner, the world around the couple disappeared. It was a beautiful, yet terrifying feeling for Jason. He had no control of this situation. He was at the mercy of his own heart. He was leaving himself open and vulnerable, knowing there was a chance this woman could hurt him. Yet somehow, knowing she never would.

 

Stranger still, Jason had no desire to analyze her. He didn't want to read her, guess at her intentions, or try to play out how things might go between them in his head. He just wanted to go along for the ride, getting to know Juliana organically. And in a way, this was freeing.

 

"Come here," Jason purred, pulling the petite beauty in for a chocolate flavored kiss. Held in Jason's arms, Juliana was a perfect fit. But it was more than that. In the empty space in Jason's heart, Juliana was a perfect fit.

 

Jason had always scoffed at the idea of "love at first sight", and there was a part of him that worried he might be acting reckless, or over impulsive.

 

 _"You're overthinking it, Jason,"_ he scolded himself. _"You always overthink things. This is why, up until now, you've been alone."_

 

"I have to meet with a client," Jason said mournfully, pulling back from the kiss. For the first time he could remember, there was somewhere he would rather be than work. "Hey. You wanna do this again tomorrow?" he suggested hopefully.

 

"I'd love to!" Juliana exclaimed. "But...can we make it a little later? If it's all right with you and your team, I'd like to bring Daniel by after school for a tour. He was pretty disappointed that he couldn't come today.

 

"That shouldn't be a problem," Jason said agreeably. "I don't have to be in court tomorrow, and I should be done with my meetings around 4:00. You want to swing by at 4:30? We can get dinner after. My treat."

 

"That sounds wonderful," Juliana said, giving Jason a quick peck on the lips before the two scooted out of the booth; their first date officially reaching its end.

 

 

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

 

 

Leaning back in his chair,  Jason sighed contentedly. This had been a good day. Even an afternoon spent with an uncooperative client and a lawyer who didn't play well with others couldn't spoil his mood. Thoughts of Juliana's sweet smile, and the way she smelled of rose and lavender calmed him. Knowing that tomorrow would reunite them sustained him.

 

Jason knew they couldn't ride new love's high forever. But he had faith that time would only strengthen what existed between them. After all, they were both older, with no expectations of perfection. There was a freedom to discover one another, blemishes and all.

 

A knock at the door pulled Jason from his thoughts, and he peered up to see Benny leaning into the doorway.

 

"The team is heading out for pizza. You wanna come?"

 

"Maybe just a slice," Jason said, rubbing his rounded belly. "Lunch today filled me right up."

 

Benny laughed softly, eyes shining with happiness for his friend and brother. "Love looks good on you," he commented. "And Juliana? She seems like a good woman. I'm happy for you, Bull. I really am."

 

"Thanks," Jason said distractedly, biting his lower lip thoughtfully as he stood. "Hey, Benny. Make sure I don't screw this up, okay?"

 

"How do you mean?"

 

Jason stepped out from behind his desk, moving to meet Benny at the door.

 

"I mean, if you see me trying to analyze Juliana, or play puppet master in this relationship...If you see me starting to Bull things up, call me out on it, okay? "

 

"You got it, pal." Benny smiled, nodding agreeably. "Come on," he said, giving Jason a friendly pat on the back as he stepped out of his office. "The team is hungry. And they've got a lot of questions for you."

 

"Yeah," Jason chuckled, shutting the office door. "I'll bet they do."


	3. A Man Worth Waiting For

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains sexually explicit material. But it also contains some major revelations about Juliana's past that are going to play a big part in the coming chapters.
> 
> ~ ThePeachyMonkey

Juliana had started coming up to the TAC office more and more following her first date with Jason. If people didn't know better, they would probably think she was a new employee.

The time had flown by between them. Juliana couldn't believe that it had already been two months since their first date.

She and Jason had just returned from a romantic date at an Italian restaurant not far from TAC, and even though Juliana liked going to lunch with Jason, it was "dessert" she always looked forward to.

Jason was actually a gentleman. In their two months of dating, never once did he try to get Juliana out of her cloths; something that shocked Benny, considering Jason was always one to have sex with pretty much any woman he liked. But Juliana was different. Everything about this relationship felt different to Jason. It wasn't some fling; he was actually falling hard for Juliana. It was safe to say, he was in love.

As the happy couple stepped off the elevator the team looked out from the glass conference room and smiled. Jason had become less cocky, less uptight, and more understanding. The team watched as he led Juliana to his office. Jason opened the door for her and allowed her to go in first. Following close behind, he shut and locked his office door.

"Now for some peace and quiet." Jason grinned, motioning Juliana to the couch.

"Mmm...Time to ourselves." Juliana cooed.

"That's just the way I like it," Jason smirked, running his long fingers through Juliana's hair before letting them travel down to her neck. Pulling her to him, he passionately started kissing her.

Juliana relaxed as Jason put his arms around her tiny frame. As Jason kissed her, she felt like the rest of the world faded away. Nothing else mattered except for being in Jason's arms; a place she wished to stay forever.

She hoped that one day they would actually have the true 'dessert' she longed for. When the time was right, she would rip Jason out of the clothes he was in. She didn't care if they were in his office or not. But knowing how much of a gentleman Jason was, she would never do something to compromise the good thing they had going right now. And to be honest, Juliana was glad that Jason wasn't forcing the issue. For the time being, the way things were was perfect!

After Jason pulled away from their kiss, Juliana leaned her head over onto his chest and started rubbing his belly. There was something about the little pudge he had that really turned her on. Jason wrapped his arms around her and held the woman that he loved. As they sat, quietly enjoying one another's company, he decided that it was time to pop the question.

"What are you doing two weeks from Friday?" Jason whispered.

"I don't have anything planned, but I am open to suggestions." Juliana smiled, gazing up into Jason's green eyes.

"Ah. Just what I like to hear. Because I've got us two tickets to the Barenaked Ladies concert," Jason grinned.

The news was music to Juliana's ears.

"Are you serious?!" Juliana sat up, face lighting up with excitement. "That's awesome! Thank you!"

"You are okay with being up close to the stage, right?" Jason questioned with a smirk.

"Are you kidding me?! This is a dream come true! I've been a fan of them since I was in high school, but have never had the chances to see them live!" Juliana was trying hard - and failing - to contain her excitement.

Jason couldn't help but laugh. "I know…you told me." He leaned in and stole another kiss from Juliana. It warmed his heart to see her so excited.

"As much as I hate to say it, my client will be here in about ten minutes," Jason sighed, looking at his watch. "Same time tomorrow?"

"Sounds great!" Juliana hopped off the couch and smoothed out her green sweater dress. "In the meantime, I'll ask my mom if she can watch Daniel the night of the concert."

Smiling, Jason stood, dashing quickly over to his desk to retrieve a bouquet of a dozen red roses.

"Happy 2 month anniversary!" Jason beamed, handing them to Juliana.

"Oh Jason!" Juliana gratefully accepted the beautiful flowers, wrapping her arms around Jason. She never wanted to leave his embrace.

Jason unlocked his office door and opened it.

"After you my, lady." He grinned and halfway bowed while motioning her out.

Following Juliana out of his office, Jason put his arm around her waist as he walked her to the elevator.

"Well, I guess this is my stop," Juliana chuckled.

Jason gave her a kiss on her soft lips. "I'll call you tonight."

"I'll be waiting," Juliana purred, rubbing a thumb along Jason's scruff covered cheek.

The dinging of the elevator officially signaled their goodbye. With one last peck on the lips, Juliana stepped inside, watching her sexy bear wave at her until the doors took him away from her view. On the ride down to the lobby she wondered how she ever got lucky enough to have the amazing Dr. Jason Bull to in her life.

_BullBullBullBullBull_

After the concert, Juliana returned to her apartment with Jason, both of them still energized by what they agreed was one of the best concerts either of them hand ever attended.

"That was really something!" Jason enthused. "I had no idea what I'd been missing all these years!"

"Well, to be honest, I'm kind of glad you were late to the party," Juliana smirked, leading Jason to the couch and taking a seat beside him. "You got to discover the music of Barenaked Ladies through me, and I got to share in the joy of your discovery."

"Mmm...I couldn't ask for a better tour guide," Jason growled seductively, leaning over and giving Juliana a kiss on her full, red lips.

Giggling, Juliana pulled Jason close, their kiss deepening. "Thank you," Juliana whispered into his ear. "Thank you for an amazing night and just..."

Juliana's voice trailed off, as she found herself suddenly at a loss for words. There was no way she could possibly voice the love and gratitude she felt for this man. A man who had shown her the way back to happiness. A man who had made her feel beautiful, loved and desired for the first time in many years.

Unable to find the right words, Juliana decided to show Jason her gratitude through actions instead.

Leaning forward, Juliana climbed into Jason's lap. Jason leaned back, surprised and, quite honestly, turned on by the bold move.

"I've never seen this take charge side of you," Jason said breathlessly, grinning. "I like it!"

Emboldened by Jason's enthusiasm, Juliana tugged at the bottom of Jason's black t-shirt, and his arms shot up obediently. She yanked the garment off and began tweaking his furry nipples.

"You sure you wanna do this," Jason asked breathlessly, as Juliana nibbled at his ear lobe, and rubbed his round belly.

"Don't you?" Juliana purred, massaging a circle around Jason's belly one more time before letting her hand travel into his pants. And once she grabbed hold of his hardening cock, she had her answer.

"Sexy bear! Come!" She ordered, climbing off Jason's lap and guiding him off of the couch.

Tired of waiting for Jason to make a move, Juliana decided that if anything sexual was going to happen between them, she would have to be the one to initiate it. Jason was simply too much of a gentleman. An admirable quality, and a nice change from what she was used to, but frustrating for a single mother who hadn't been sexually active in nearly 5 years, and found her body craving this big, beautiful bear of a man!

While they both seemed surprised by Juliana's sexually dominant side, Jason didn't appear to mind at all! In fact, if the dazed look in his eyes and the tent in his pants were any indication, he was turned on by the idea of being the sexually submissive partner!

"Stay!" Juliana ordered, once they were inside the bedroom.

Jason stood frozen at the foot of the bed; the look on his face one of playful anticipation. Totally receptive to whatever Juliana was planning to do to him. Welcoming the chance to just let go and hand over control to another.

Juliana scanned the gorgeous body before her approvingly. She had never fallen for a man like Jason before. He seemed to be the exception to every rule.

Juliana usually liked her men clean shaven. But the scruff on Jason's face was offset by his gorgeous green eyes and full, luscious lips, making for a delicious combination!

She didn't usually care for body hair on a man. But Jason's furry chest, combined with the big belly beneath it, all helped contribute to the "sexy bear" image that Juliana loved so!

Stalking over to Jason, Juliana got down on her knees in front of him, so that she was at eye level with Jason's beautiful belly.

Placing her tiny hands around the pudge, Juliana lavished kisses upon it. Her hands eventually traveling to Jason's pants, she then undid his fly, pulling them down around his ankles.

Juliana wasn't at all surprised by the sight of Jason's long, thick cock before her. Of course a man as big as Jason Bull would be enormous in this way! Juliana licked her lips, laughing wickedly as an idea came to her. Leaning in, she swallowed Jason whole.

Juliana's lips traveled the length of Jason's cock; her teeth lightly brushing it as she went. As she reached the tip, she circled with her tongue, giving it a good suck before repeating the whole process all over again.

It only took a couple "mouth massages" for Jason's member to become rock hard in her mouth, and the moment she tasted a bit of pre cum leaking from the tip, she backed away.

Jason's cock was standing at full attention, while Jason himself was barely able to stand at all.

"Please...so close..." Jason whispered needily, staring at Juliana through glazed, half lidded eyes as he watch her take off her shirt and bra.

"Not yet." Juliana shook her head, wagging her finger at Jason. "It seems I've been doing all of the giving here, and with you it's all taking."

Removing her pants, Juliana approached the bed, giving Jason a light shove. Already weak from the effort of controlling his arousal, the large man went down easily at the hands of the tiny woman.

Climbing into bed beside Jason, Juliana grabbed his length, giving it a couple teasing tugs and grinning in amusement at the helpless whimpers it elicited.

Straddling Jason's prone body, Juliana took her large breasts into her hands.

"You want these in your mouth?"

Jason nodded, grinning hungrily.

Juliana removed Jason's glasses and set them on the night stand, not wanting to risk them falling off during the couple's night time acitivities.

"Then come and get me," she ordered, lying on her back in waiting.

With effort, Jason got up onto all fours, his body hovering over Juliana's. Leaning in, he took her right breast into his mouth. (Well, as much as he could anyway, as Juliana was way more than a mouthful.) Sucking, nibbling and licking in a way that caused Juliana to come undone. Jason Bull didn't just have a pretty mouth. It was a skilled mouth! One that, Juliana was convinced, would be able to satisfy her all on its own.

Moving on to Juliana's left breast, tremors ran through Jason's body as his mouth got to work. The combined effort of working to give Juliana pleasure, while at the same time being temporarily denied his own somehow made him suck more hungrily. This hungry desperation felt absolutely orgasmic to Juliana!

"Down!" Juliana ordered, firmly grabbing Jason's head and guiding it down.

Jason didn't need to be told twice. Diving in, he began eating Juliana out. And if she thought Jason's mouth on her breasts was orgasmic, it was nothing compared to what she was now experiencing!

Jason's tongue darted inside Juliana's vagina, and she was gone! She'd never had a tongue fucking before, and it was the most amazing feeling! Her thoughts became fuzzy, and her body went limp like a rag doll. She no longer had the strength or discipline to keep up the role of dominant partner. She simply wanted Jason to make her his, in every possible way.

"In the nightstand," Juliana breathed.

And she didn't need to say another word. Finally coming up for air, Jason stood on shaking limbs, walking over to the nightstand and taking out the out tube of lube - which Juliana had bought specifically in anticipation of their first time.

Slathering the gel all over his hardened member, Jason slid himself into Juliana. It was a tight fit, Jason's size almost too much for the petite Juliana. Yet, somehow, it felt like a perfect fit.

Jason thrust himself in and out of Juliana rhythmically, loosening her passage and making it moist. Then, with one final thrust, he let go, his seed exploding inside of her.

Jason stayed inside Juliana for a few minutes, allowing every last drop to spill into her. Then, he collapsed into an exhausted heap at her side.

Both of them were too overwhelmed with satisfaction to say a word. And as Juliana nestled into the warmth of Jason's arms, they silently agreed that this was well worth the wait!

_BullBullBullBullBull_

Jason awoke to the sound of screams; Juliana violently thrashing and crying beside him.

Sitting up, Jason clicked on the lamp on the night stand and put on his glasses.

"Juliana..." he whispered, lightly massaging his girlfriend's shoulder. "Juliana...wake up."

After a minute, Juliana's body finally settled. She opened her beautiful, tear filled blue eyes, gazing up into Jason's concerned green.

"Sorry." Juliana sat up and wiped away her tears with the heels of her hands. "Bad dream."

"You want to tell me what it was about?" Jason asked, taking Juliana into his arms and holding her protectively.

"I'm worried I might scare you off," Juliana whispered, her voice softer and more timid than Jason had ever heard it.

"I don't want you to worry about that. I'm not going anywhere. If something is hurting you like this, you can't keep it to yourself. Let me be here for you." Jason squeezed Juliana a little closer, as if to put an emphasis on his sincerity.

Juliana nodded into Jason's chest, taking a few calming breaths. "It's about my ex husband, Daniel's father. It's...what he did to me."

"What did he do?" Jason asked, already feeling a surge of anger towards a man he'd never met. If his actions caused this strong a reaction in Juliana, they must have been truly unforgivable.

Juliana sighed, her breath thick with emotion. "Dave - my ex, obviously - he wasn't always so bad. At least, that's not how I remember him. He made good money as a software engineer, and life seemed pretty idyllic for us. But when Daniel was about 2, Dave got laid off. He found a new job soon enough, working at Target. But the hours were worse. The money wasn't as good, obviously. And that's when..."

Juliana had to pause and take several deep breaths to calm herself. It pained Jason to see her like this.

"It's okay, Juliana," Jason said gently. "You don't have to tell me now."

"No." Juliana sniffled, shaking her head. "No, I want to. If you can hear this and not run away, I'll - "

"I told you. I'm not going anywhere," Jason reminder her, kissing the top of her head.

Juliana nuzzled into Jason's neck, taking a shaky deep breath. "Dave started going out for drinks with his work buddies. And there was something about those guys that brought out the worst in him. He'd come home drunk and agitated. Angry at me for not having a hot meal on the table for him when he got home - at 1:00am! Or he'd be mad that I was too tired to have sex with him. Eventually, he stopped looking for excuses."

"He hurt you," Jason stated, barely masking his building anger.

"Yeah." Juliana nodded, eyes fixed on her lap. "Just not where people could see. But I was pretty black and blue beneath my clothes."

Closing his eyes, Jason took controlled breaths as he ran his fingers through Juliana's curls. As he did so, something she had said moments before stood out to him, the very thought of it making his stomach turn.

"Juliana, did...did he ever rape you?"

Juliana choked out a loud sob, curling up into a ball in Jason's arms. "All the time," she whispered shakily.

At this point, Jason was finding it especially difficult to control his anger. But he told himself to save it for if he ever met this Dave person. And if that day came, he couldn't promise he wouldn't kill the man on sight.

"Looking back, I should have gotten out a lot sooner," Juliana continued. "But I didn't think I could make it alone. I didn't think I could raise my son and support the both of us financially. I don't have a college degree, or any marketable skills. I'm good at singing and writing and that's it! I was trapped, and Dave never failed to remind me of this."

Juliana rubbed a bit of Jason's chest hair between her fingers, unable to look him in the eye. "I didn't even have family around to help. My mom didn't move out here until after...after..."

Jason took hold of Juliana's tiny hand, lightly massaging it. "Do you need to take a break? Get a drink of water or something?"

"No." Juliana shook her head and sighed. "I just want to get this over with.

"Okay," Jason said patiently. "Take your time."

For the first time in several minutes, Juliana looked up briefly at Jason, smiling with love and gratitude, before quickly turning her gaze back to her lap.

"One night, Dave came home the angriest I'd ever seen him. He'd been working late shifts all week, and hadn't seen Daniel in days."

Juliana took a deep breath, staring off into the distance. "I will say that, for all the terrible things Dave did to me, he never laid a hand on our son. He was usually at his worst after Daniel was in bed anyway, and I told Daniel 'no matter what you hear, you stay your room!' But on this particular night, Dave was insistent on seeing Daniel. Screaming, ranting, throwing dishes on the floor...I wasn't about to let him anywhere near our boy! But Dave...Dave wouldn't take no for an answer. And when I tried to block his path to Daniel's room, he came at me with a meat cleaver and stabbed me. Once in the chest, and twice in the stomach."

"Juliana..." was all Jason could say; too horrified by what he was hearing.

"Things went black for me after that. But apparently, my son chose that night not to listen to me. He snuck into my room during the commotion and called 911. And before Dave had a chance to run, he was arrested."

"A-and you?" Jason asked, finding it suddenly difficult to form words. "What happened to you?"

"I nearly died," Juliana sighed. "By the time I got to the hospital, I'd already lost a lot of blood. And the worst thing is...I found out that night that I was 10 weeks pregnant. But by the time I knew, I'd already lost the baby. And if I hadn't been such a coward...If I had been brave enough to leave..." Juliana stumbled on her words, guilt and grief seeming to take over.

"Hey...It wasn't your fault," Jason soothed, pulling Juliana back into his arms. "I don't think so. I'm sure Daniel doesn't think so. You were abused, Juliana. Physically, sexually and emotionally. As you said, you felt trapped. That is entirely your ex's fault. So was you losing that baby. It's okay to feel sadness and grief. But don't you for a second think you are to blame for any of it."

Juliana wrapped her arms tighter around Jason, snuggling into him. "Thank you for making me wait," she whispered.

"What do you mean?" Jason asked, too overwhelmed with emotion to deduce what would usually come so easily to him.

"You never forced yourself on me. Sexually, I mean," Juliana clarified. "I know that you wanted it, just as badly as I did. But you waited for me to make the first move. That tells me you respect me. You'll never try to hurt or control me. I'm not used to that, Jason, and I hope you know how much it means to me."

Wiping tears off of Juliana's soft cheek with his thumb, Jason thought what an honor it was that a woman like Juliana, who had been hurt in such unthinkable ways, would put so much trust in him. And at that moment, he vowed to spend the rest of his days striving to be a man deserving of this trust.

"I love you, Juliana Hudson," was all Jason could say, too touched to voice all that was in his heart.

"I love you,too, Jason Bull," Juliana smiled, rubbing his belly. And somehow, Jason knew she understood exactly what he wanted to say.


	4. Past, Meet Present

Juliana sleepily blinked her eyes open, smiling at the sight that greeted her.

Jason lie on his back, open mouth letting out little snores. The floral comforter covered his naked flesh up to his shoulders, his belly beautifully outlined beneath; rising and falling with each breath.

Smiling tenderly at the sight, Juliana leaned over, placing a light kiss on Jason's forehead. It was hard to imagine that, just months ago, she was a single woman in her 40s who was sure she had squandered any opportunity at finding real love by spending all those wasted years with in an abusive marriage.

But now, here she was, lying beside a man who was not only handsome and successful, but also warm hearted, gentle and kind. Most importantly, he was great with Daniel; able to connect with the boy in both play and conversation in a way that few adults had been able to. After what his father had done, Daniel was distrusting of most grown ups. Especially men. The fact that he had taken to Jason almost immediately was encouraging. It was a big part of the reason that, despite her past experience, Juliana trusted Jason.

The previous night had been one of music and passion. Intimacy and exploration. But, most importantly, it had cemented the bond of trust between them. Juliana told Jason her darkest, most traumatic memory. One that would send most men running for the hills. But instead, Jason held her and comforted her. He assured her of the safety of their union, and the truth of his love.

Now, with Daniel at his grandmother's for the weekend, the couple would have plenty of time alone to explore one another; hearts, bodies and minds. Juliana couldn't wait to discover every intimate detail that she could about this one of a kind man, whose undeniably handsome appearance was matched only by the beauty in his heart.

With one more kiss to Jason's forehead, Juliana sat up and got out of bed, quiet as she could.

She was about half way to the en suite bathroom when she heard Jason call to her.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked, sounding somehow sassy, despite the sleepiness in his voice.

As Juliana turned to look at Jason, she couldn't help but smile. Though his appearance was tired and disheveled, there was a brightness to the grin on his face that made him irresistible!

"I was just about to take a hot shower," Juliana replied with a playful smirk. "Care to join me?"

"Don't mind if I do!" Jason grinned, throwing back the covers and grabbing the lube off the nightstand, just in case.

Juliana couldn't help but laugh watching Jason, almost in a dead run with a hungry grin on his face. Jason hadn't even touched her yet, but his member was already standing at attention. Juliana knew if that if Jason wanted it, he was going to have to work for it!

They stepped into the warm shower together and Jason took in the sight of Juliana's glorious breasts. He could already feel his member throbbing, but he knew that release would only come if Juliana allowed it.

Jason found Juliana's shampoo and started to wash her hair. As he massaged, she let a moan escape her mouth; a sound that made Jason's throbbing cock twitch with excitement. Once he rinsed her hair he was already going for the body wash. He started with her back, lingering on every inch of soft flesh as his fingers traveled down to Juliana's backside and cupped her cheeks.

"Can't…take…much…more. I need…you," Jason breathed heavily.

"If you want it, come get it." Juliana teased, leaning against the shower and bending over slightly.

Jason saw this as the perfect opportunity. Grabbing hold of Juliana's hips, he tried to enter her. But when she winced in pain, Jason pulled out and remembered, they really did need some lube. The steam and water weren't helping the situation very much.

"Please...don't stop," Juliana practically begged as she rubbed her ass against his throbbing member.

Jason smirked, feeling suddenly inspired. He was just getting started!

"That's it, young lady. You asked for it."

He got down on his knees and began flicking his tongue on her clit before tongue fucking her.

"I could totally get used to this," Juliana moaned, at this point barely able to stand.

Jason's long arms reached for Juliana's breasts, his fingers playing with her nipples. It didn't take much for Juliana to cum in Jason's mouth, and he lapped up every bit of her lovely juices.

Coming up for air, Jason found Juliana staring at him with a dazed and pleading look. They were both ready. Two bodies begging; aching to once again connect as one.

Turning the shower head away from them, Jason reached for the lube, slathering it generously on his member.

"Are you ready?" Jason asked.

"Yes.." Juliana moaned. .

She put one leg around his waist; just what he needed to hang on to her. It didn't take either one of them long. After a few long strokes, Jason picked up speed and nearly lost his breath as he shared his seed with her.

"You're absolutely amazing," Jason whispered into Juliana's ear. "Now let's finish that shower, shall we?"

Juliana looked into Jason's beautiful green eyes and was lost in love. She couldn't help but smile at him as she lathered him up and they finished their shower together.

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

Walking hand in hand with Juliana, surrounded by the warm colors of autumn, Jason gazed at the beauty by his side, feeling his heart swell with love and gratitude.

Not long before, Jason never would have imagined he'd be out in the world with a woman such as Juliana. A woman who was not only beautiful, but real. Unlike the women Jason had dated in the past, Juliana didn't play games. She had no interest in getting the better of Jason. There was no competitiveness or distrust.

Thinking back, Jason realized he'd had a "type." Women like Diana Lindsay, who - whether they were lawyers or not - stimulated and challenged him in the same ways his work did. They never truly allowed him to let go, and discover the person he was outside of the job.

But with Juliana, Jason could turn that part of his brain off. She taught him to appreciate the everyday magic that surrounded him. The beauty of the autumn leaves. The laughter of her son. The simple pleasure of a fresh brewed cup of coffee. He was seeing the world as if for the first time. The veil of cynicism lifted, he now saw hope.

Thinking back on what Juliana had told him the night before, Jason was amazed by her strength and resilience. She had lived through an unimaginable nightmare, yet still maintained a loving and open heart. A heart that was willing to take a chance on a damaged and dysfunctional man. Jason knew that, after all that Juliana had endured, she would not be the kind to give her heart to just anyone. Jason couldn't help but wonder what made him worthy of such an honor.

"What's on your mind?" Juliana asked, leaning into Jason. And it was then that he realized just how quiet he had been.

Smiling down at Juliana, Jason pulled her close to him. "Just thinking about how lucky I am," was his simple, yet honest reply.

"You're not the only one," Juliana sighed, smiling up at Jason.

They walked in comfortable silence for a few more minutes when they saw a young couple pushing a baby in a stroller come towards them. It was at that moment that Jason decided he owed Juliana the truth about his own lost child.

"I was almost a father once," Jason commented, looking wistfully at the family as they past. "A long time ago."

"Really?" Juliana blinked up at him, clearly surprised. "Who was the mother?"

"My ex wife." Jason laughed awkwardly. "As a matter of fact, she's Benny's sister."

Juliana stopped in her tracks at this revelation, turning and grabbing Jason by the arm. "Wait a minute. Doesn't that make things weird between you and Benny?"

"Surprisingly, no." Jason shook his head. "Benny knew that Izzy and I weren't right for each other. I think he saw signs the relationship wasn't working, even before we did.

Juliana nodded, apparently satisfied with the explanation, and the couple resumed walking.

"The baby was a surprise," Jason continued. "But once we found out Izzy was pregnant, we couldn't have been more excited! We were actually getting to like the idea of becoming parents."

Jason look down, voice dropping to a near whisper. "But then Izzy suffered a miscarriage, and all the hopes and plans we had been making died along with our unborn child."

"Jason..." Juliana gasped. "I'm so sorry." Her voice cracked with sadness for Jason.

Jason looked to the sky. Partly to blink away the tears that were stinging his eyes, and partly to avoid the pitying look he knew Juliana was giving him.

"We both grieved in our own away, and we were both coping in the best ways we knew how. Unfortunately, my way was to try and fix things. To analyze both Izzy's emotions and my own, hoping to find some kind of answer that would help it all make sense to us. But it wasn't what Izzy needed. It wasn't what either of us needed." Feeling his chest begin to tighten at the painful memory, Jason took a deep breath. "Our marriage was never the same after that."

"Please don't blame yourself," Juliana pleaded. "You did the best you knew how to at the time."

This time, it was Jason who stopped in his tracks. Turning to meet Juliana's gaze, he gave her tiny hands a loving squeeze.

"But I want to do better now. I want to  _be_  better for you and Daniel."

"And you will be!" Juliana smiled up at Jason, communicating complete confidence in him. "Correction. You already  _are_! Jason, do you realize how much happier I am with you in my life? Or how Daniel's face lights up when he knows he'll be seeing you? I may be too old to give you a baby, but that doesn't mean we're not a family."

Jason simply smiled, bending over to give Juliana a peck on the lips. It was a small gesture, but it was one of love and gratitude. In their unspoken language, Jason told Juliana just how thankful he was for the honor of being allowed into her heart and family.

"For the record, you're not too old," Jason commented as they resumed walking. "Lots of women in their 40s have babies."

"Is that was you want?" Juliana asked, clearly caught off guard by Jason's words.

"With you, I'm open to anything," Jason replied warmly. "But only if we  _both_  decide it's what we want."

"Well, I'm certainly up for discussing the possibility," Juliana cooed, snuggling up next to Jason as they walked.

Putting his arm around the tiny woman, Jason could feel her shivering. It was at this moment that he decided they tackle a much smaller decision.

"For now, why don't we discuss the possibility of warming up with some hot apple cider?" Jason grinned.

"Short discussion," Juliana laughed, placing her hand affectionately on Jason's belly. "I'm all for it."

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

Entering the small cafe, Jason and Juliana noticed there was already a line stretching halfway to the door.

"You don't mind waiting, do you?" Jason asked, open to whatever Juliana decided.

"Not at all." Juliana smiled up at Jason, giving his hand a squeeze. "It'll give us a chance to warm up."

"I can help with that," Jason growled seductively, wrapping his arm around Juliana as the couple made their way into the line.

Juliana giggled, wrapping her own arm around Jason's.

It was at that moment that they caught the attention of a bus boy, who was wiping tables not far from them. The man appeared to be in his mid 40s, with shaggy, graying brown hair and a pencil thin mustache.

"Juliana?" he called as he approached them, spray bottle and wash cloth in hand. "Hey! I thought that was you!"

"Hey, Zack." Juliana gave the man an uncomfortable smile.

Jason didn't like this Zack person. His overly friendly greeting was clearly intended to suggest that he and Juliana were old friends. But it stood in stark contrast to the way Juliana tensed in Jason's arms. It was clear that the two had a history. Just not as friendly a history as Zack's behavior might lead one to believe.

"Not working at Target anymore?" Juliana inquired; a forced attempt at being polite during this unwanted encounter. And it was then that Jason understood his girlfriend's discomfort. Zack was obviously one of Dave's "work buddies" who he went out drinking with, before coming home to beat and rape Juliana.

"Nah. Got fired a few years ago. The manager and I had some disagreement on the definition of 'customer service.' "

"I don't even want to know what that means." Juliana closed her eyes as she spoke, and Jason was certain she must be rolling them beneath her lids.

"This your boyfriend?" Zack inquired, indicating Jason.

"Jason Bull." Jason reached out to shake Zack's hand. Offering Juliana a brief respite from the conversation.

"Zack Meeks," Zack formally introduced himself to Jason, shaking his hand a little too enthusiastically for Jason's liking. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Jason simply nodded in reply, forcing a smile in the hopes of masking the disgust he felt for this smarmy bastard.

"So, how's Daniel?" Zack asked, turning his attentionm back to Juliana. "I bet he's -"

"Why are you doing this?!" Juliana finally snapped. "Why are you talking to me like we're friends?! You were Dave's friend, not mine! And you know what he did to me! So don't start chatting me up like nothing happened!"

Startled by the outburst, Zack took a step back and scowled. "Fine. I was just trying to make conversation. No need to be a bitch about it."

"That's enough!" Jason hissed. He'd had more than his fill of this guy's BS, and he wouldn't tolerate anyone - especially a friend of Juliana's monster of an ex husband - talking to her that way. He knew they needed to get out of there, or he might really end up losing his temper.

"Come on, sweetheart," Jason addressed Juliana, making a motion with his head towards the door. "Let's go someplace else."

Making their way to the door, the couple ignored the stares they received. All they cared about was getting out of there, as soon as they possibly could.

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in there," Juliana apologized once they were outside.

"Hey. Nothing to be sorry for," Jason reassured her. "You did nothing wrong." Jason pulled Juliana in for a tight hug, massaging the back of her head. "Now...what do you need right now?"

Juliana let out an embarrassed laugh. "Right now, all I want is to go home, snuggle on the couch with you and watch something on Netflix. I want want to forget that whole mess in there ever happened."

"Sounds good to me." Jason planted a kiss on the top of Juliana's head as he pulled away from the hug.

As they made their way home, Jason knew that it didn't matter where they were or what did. All that mattered was that they did it together. Jason would do anything to keep a smile on Juliana's face. Even if it was something as simple as a night in watching movies.

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

As Zack drove to visit his old friend, he thought about what he was going to say. He knew that he had to confront Dave and tell him the facts about Juliana.

Things were not as they seemed. Zack was not the bubbly and over eager man he presented himself as when he saw Juliana walk into the cafe with her new boyfriend. Instead, he was a dark man with a mission.

As Zack stepped out of his car, the cold nearly took his breath. He made it up into the warmth of the building and was met by guards. He was then searched to make sure he wouldn't be a threat to anyone, or to himself if a prisoner decided to go off.

A guard escorted Zack into a room that looked as though it was a calling booth with a plexi glass window in front of it. He ducked his head, wondering if he should even be here. It wasn't like it was the first time he had been here to see his friend. He had come nearly every visiting day, until his new job had gotten in the way of his visits the past few times. But today was different. He had news to share.

Zack was pulled out of his thoughts when the alarm went off, opening the metal bar door. He heard the chilling sound of chains clanking, alerting him to the man in the orange jumpsuit's approach.   
  
There was a darkness in Dave's eyes, made somehow more sinister by the unkempt salt and pepper beard that covered his tan skin.

Making his way over to the calling booth where Zack was, Dave took a seat on a cold metal chair and picked up the phone. Zack did the same so he could talk to his former work buddy.

"Long time no see…friend," Dave smirked.

"Sorry. With this new job and the holiday season, work has been crazy," Zack explained.

"Oh? They let a guy like you back into retail?"

"Worse. I'm a bus boy at a cafe," Zack chuckled.

"That's the way to pick up lonely women down on their luck," Dave said with an evil grin.

"Speaking of which, Juliana came into the cafe the other day," Zack commented.

Dave's face transformed from an evil grin to a look of concern. In his own twisted way, he still loved Juliana, and believed he had done nothing wrong. Sure, he'd almost killed her. But she'd driven him to it. She should have known to behave.

"Was she with Daniel?" Dave inquired. He hadn't seen his son in 5 years. Who knows what lies Juliana had told him in that time?

"No...She wasn't with Daniel." Zack was starting to panic inwardly. Should he tell his friend the truth?

"No? So she was in the cafe with her laptop, writing for that stupid blog." Dave rolled his eyes.

"Actually, she was on a date." Zack regretted the statement the moment it left his mouth.

"She  _what_?!" Dave exploded. "Who the hell is this mystery guy anyway?!"

"His name is Jason Bull," Zack answered. "Tall guy. I'd say maybe 6'2 - 6'3. Heavy set. Green eyes with thick black glasses, and a nice amount of scruff on his face. If I swung that way, I'd say he was handsome."

Dave just scowled, his visible anger terrifying. Still, Zack continued.

"I did some research on the guy. Turns out he's a doctor. Has his own business called Trial Analysis Corporation." Zack explained.

"You're sure it was a date?" Dave asked, failing to mask his rage and envy.

"No question," Zack confirmed sadly. "Juliana blew up at me for asking about Daniel, and when I tried to put her in her place, he had to play hero and rush to her defense. He pulled her in close when they walked out of the cafe together. And the way he looked at her, it was pretty obvious they're in love."

Dave was seething, nostrils flaring as he contemplated what Zack had told him.

"So this guy thinks he can just swoop in and take my family from me?! He thinks he can take the life that is rightfully mine?!" Dave fumed.

Zack sat silently, letting Dave rant like this for several minutes. Never bothering to remind Dave that he would never be able to see Juliana or Daniel again anyway. And even if he could, they would want nothing to do with him.

"I don't care what you have to do, or what measures you have to take to do it." Dave snarled through gritted teeth.

Once again, he had Zack's full attention.

"To do what?" Zack asked obliviously.

"End him!" Dave replied angrily. He then slammed down the phone and headed back to his prison cell, leaving a speechless Zack in his wake.


	5. The Night Everything Changed

Leaning back in his chair, Jason smiled fondly at the framed photo on his desk. It was a picture of Juliana, Daniel and himself seated together on his office couch; Daniel on his lap, and Juliana snuggled at his side with his arm around her. Jason's heart swelled with affection, realizing that three months ago, he had gained not only a girlfriend, but a family. And tonight, Jason intended to show Juliana just how committed he was to this family.

Fiddling with the small box in his hands, Jason tried not to overthink what Juliana's reaction might be. He had to have faith that, whatever her answer, their love would remain intact.

"Bull," Benny called from the doorway, startling Jason out of his thoughts. "You wanted to see me?"

Jason nodded, waving Benny into his office. "Close the door."

Doing as he was told, Benny approached Jason's desk, a puzzled expression on his face.

" 'Meet me in my office. Come alone.' " Benny read from the text Jason had sent him. "Why so cryptic?"

Grinning from ear to ear, Jason stood up and stepped out from behind his desk to meet Benny. Saying nothing, he simply handed his old friend the box.

Opening the box, Benny's eyes widened slightly at the simple elegance of the ring inside. "So, you've decided to pop the question to Juliana? I have to say, I'm surprised."

"I know it seems fast," Jason admitted, scratching thoughtfully at his scruff. "We've only been together three months. But the way I feel when I'm with her...this just feels right to me."

"Hey. No judgement here," Benny assured Jason, closing the box and handing it back to him. "You're not the kind of person to take a decision like this lightly. Honestly, I think Juliana has been very good for you. You're not sleeping in your office anymore. You have a life outside of the job. And most importantly, you're the happiest I've ever seen you."

"So you think I should go for it?"

"For what it's worth, you have my blessing," Benny laughed.

"Thanks," Jason chuckled. "But let's keep this between you and me for now, okay? That way, if she says no, I'll only be minimally embarrassed."

"Yeah, well, I don't think you need to worry about that," Benny said, giving Jason a reassuring pat on the arm as he turned to leave the office. "But until it's official, your secret is safe with me."

Alone in his office once again, Jason sighed with contentment, taking a seat behind his desk. He would be sending everyone home early tonight. Because no case was as important as his date with the future Mrs. Jason Bull.

_BullBullBullBullBull_

Tucking the ring into his coat pocket, Jason stepped out of his office, shutting the door behind him. Just about everyone had gone home at this point, save for Jason and Benny, who had hung back, supposedly, to discuss an issue concerning their new client. But it was really to throw off suspicion as to why Jason was sending everyone home early. If only Jason had stayed back, they might wonder what he was hiding from them. But if Benny was with him, it must be business.

As for the shortened work day, it was Friday night, and Jason had been more mindful of the team's lives outside of work since meeting Juliana.

"I'm heading out now," Jason informed Benny, as he passed the younger man in the hall. "You want me to hold the elevator for you?"

"Nah. You go ahead," Benny said, holding up a folder. "I just need to finish up one more thing."

"All right, then." Jason gave Benny a wave as he made his way to the elevator. "I'll see you on Monday."

"Good luck tonight." Benny smiled, disappearing through the glass doors.

As the elevator dinged open and Jason stepped inside, his heart pounded in anticipation of a night that, one way or another, was sure to change everything.

_BullBullBullBullBull_

Jason fiddled with the ring in his pocket with nervous excitement. He was ready for his life to change forever. He only hoped that Juliana would say yes. It would seriously make him the happiest man in the world. He would finally have the family he'd always dreamed of.

Jason stepped off the elevator, a bit of a pep in his step as he made his way to the doors. He pictured Juliana's face when she saw the engagement ring. Would there be tears of joy as Jason got down on one knee and asked her to marry him? A flustered "yes" blurted out in response?

Jason thought of the happy months leading to this moment, and the many happy years he hoped would follow. Perhaps starting with a bit of naughty fun once they got back to the apartment. Just that thought alone made him grin.

As Jason stepped into the cold night air, he saw a familiar face standing in the shadows. The man stepped into the light, just enough for Jason to see he was not as he had appeared to be when Jason first met him.

"What are you…?" Jason paused as he saw the light from the TAC building gleam off the barrel of a pistol.

Before another word could be said, the man pulled the trigger, hitting Jason in the stomach; the searing pain causing him to double over.

 _"Why is he doing this to me?"_  Jason wondered as he stumbled forward, trying to get to the doors of the TAC building. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as Jason started losing a great deal of blood. He thought of Daniel. What would the young boy do if he knew Jason had been shot? Would the poor little fella feel obligated comfort his mother?

Jason had just reached the door and could see the shining hope of safety when the gun went off a second time, hitting Jason in the lower back.

There was no more moving. Jason fell flat on his face, breaking his glasses, as flashes of pain started to take over. Jason thought of his team. How would they handle the news of their boss getting shot? Would they be able to move on without him? Marissa and Benny were good, but could they run TAC by themselves? The shooter kicked Jason's broken body, causing him to roll onto his back with a painful moan.

"Do you have any last words?" the shooter asked as he held his gun over Jason.

Jason was in too much pain to say much of anything. He tried to plead for his life, but the only thing that came out was a gurgling sound, followed by Jason coughing up blood. The gun went off for the third time with a bullet hitting Jason's chest.

The shooter could see in Jason's green eyes that he was scared as he lie dying outside the company he had built. Jason locked eyes with his shooter, and in that moment the man was hit with the gravity of what he had done, and a wave of guilt washed over him. Jason had done nothing wrong. He was just getting off work and going to do who knows what. Now here he was, lying in a pool of his own blood. The gunman couldn't take looking at what he had done anymore. He stepped away from Jason's body before running from the scene.

Jason lie on the ground, wishing he could reach his phone. He wished he could call an ambulance, but most of all, he wished he could hear Juliana's sweet voice one last time. He could feel the life draining out of him with every heartbeat. He became cold and couldn't feel his body. The pain he had felt before was going away as the cold crept through him. From what seemed to be a million miles away, Jason could hear voices, but he couldn't make out what they were saying. He felt tired and just needed to rest for a while. He closed his eyes, hoping this would all be over soon.

_BullBullBullBullBull_

Benny heard what sounded like a car backfiring as he headed for the elevator. As he stepped into the elevator and waited to be taken down to the ground floor, he couldn't help but think of Jason and Juliana. He really hoped Juliana would say yes. Jason deserved to be happy after everything he had been through. Juliana had changed him. Made him a more caring friend and boss; a side of Jason he had never seen, even when he was married to Izzy.

As the elevator doors opened, Benny's heart sank when he saw a crowd gathered outside of TAC.

"What the hell?" Benny whispered.

As he got through the doors, there were so many people, the short man couldn't see what was going on.

"911 says an ambulance is on their way and should be here shortly!" a bystander yelled.

 _"Ambulance? What happened? Who needs an ambulance? And why right here outside of TAC?"_  Benny's thoughts were racing, as his chest tightened with panic.

Benny had had enough of just waiting around to find out what was going on. He pushed and squeezed his way through to the front of the crowd to see what was going on. What Benny saw, he wished he could unsee. He found the victim in a growing pool of blood. It was all he could do to not lose his balance and pass out from shock, seeing that the victim was Jason.


	6. I Don't Want To Say Goodbye

Benny’s heart sank when he found Jason bleeding to death on the cold cement.

 

 _"Why didn’t I take the elevator down with Jason? This would have never happened if I was with him!"_ Benny’s emotions were spinning out of control as the guilt hit hard. Quickly taking off his suit jacket, he placed it against Jason’s bleeding chest.

 

“Come on, Jason. Stay with me,” Benny pleaded, flinching back in shock when he found that Jason was also bleeding profusely from his stomach.

 

“How many times did this person shoot you? Why would anyone shoot you?” Benny whispered. He felt like he couldn’t stop the bleeding. There was just so much blood and not enough clothing to stop it.

 

Benny was startled when Jason’s eyes fluttered opened and he began to cough up blood.

 

“Whoa. Easy their, Bull. It’s okay. Just take it easy. Help is on the way.” Benny was trying to stay calm, but it was very hard seeing his boss and friend barely clinging to life.  

 

“Cold...” Jason gurgled before a coughing fit took over his body, causing blood to come flying from his mouth.

 

“I know. Just stay with me.” Benny begged, voice cracking as he carded his fingers through Jason’s hair.

 

Jason couldn’t see who was beside him, but he knew that voice, and it was a comfort to him. As he felt the life draining from his body, he knew that Benny would tell Juliana how sorry he was for not making their date, and ultimately breaking her heart by dying.

 

"T-tell Jul-iana I love..." Jason rasped out before, unable to fight it anymore, he closed his eyes and let the darkness take over.

 

“Bull? Jason! You gotta wake up! You gotta stay with me!  We need you! Juliana needs you!” Benny pleaded as Jason lost consciousness. Benny felt as though there was a weight on his chest as he choked out a sob, tears now flowing freely from his eyes.

 

The ambulance came wailing in, but Benny knew it was too late. Jason was already gone. He searched Jason’s pockets and found the ring he had planned to give to Juliana that night. Placing it in his own pocket, Benny decided to hold onto it for safe keeping, in case, by some miracle, Jason  pulled through. And if, God forbid, they lost Jason, Benny wanted Juliana to have something to hold on to. The last gift Jason ever bought her. A symbol of the future they could have had together.

 

As the paramedics came running over, the crowd parted so they could work on Jason.

 

“Sir, can you hear me?” one paramedic asked as she pat Jason’s shoulder. When Jason didn’t respond, the paramedic checked his eyes “He’s unresponsive. He’s going to be priority transport.”

 

Benny got up and staggered out of the way so the crew could work on Jason. He watched as they unbuttoned Jason’s blood-soaked shirt to find he had been shot in the chest, way too close to his heart, as well as in his abdomen. As they rolled Jason onto his side, they found he had also been shot in the lower back.

 

“Do you know the victim, sir?” an EMT asked as the paramedics continued looking Jason over.

 

“Yes. He’s Doctor Jason Bull. He’s 49 - ”

 

 Benny couldn’t give any more information before the paramedic said they needed to roll.

 

“I've got a 49 year old white male with three GSW’s to the chest, abdomen and lower back. We will be en route to NYU medical center shortly. We will be running priority one,” the paramedic spoke to dispatch.

 

As the paramedics loaded Jason onto the gurney and headed to the ambulance, Benny was hot on their heels.

 

“Sir, you can’t ride in the ambulance,” the paramedic stated.

 

“Like hell I can't!” Benny spat as he climbed up into the ambulance with Jason.

 

“Sir, only family members can ride with a patient.”

 

“Well, I’m his brother, so you're stuck with me!” Benny said stubbornly

 

As they made their way to the hospital, one of the paramedics attached various wires to Jason’s bare chest. It was music to Benny’s ears to hear Jason’s heartbeat. Confirmation that, for now, anyway, Jason was still alive. 

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

Juliana glanced at her phone, wondering if she should call Jason again. He was already a half hour late for their date, even though he had made a point to tell her that he had something special planned for that night.

 

Jason had always been the picture of punctuality when it came to their dates, and the fact that he was this late, and all of Juliana's calls were going straight to voicemail, was worrisome, to say the least.

 

"Excuse me, ma'am?"

 

Juliana looked up from her phone at the young waiter.

 

 "Are you sure I can't get you some bread while you wait? Or maybe an appetizer?" 

 

"I'm fine, thanks," she said, smiling politely. "I'm sure he'll be here any minute now." 

 

"All right. I'll check back with you in a few minutes."

 

As the waiter walked off, Juliana took a sip of water, thinking it was about the only thing she could stomach right now. She had been feeling sick for the past few days, and anxiety over Jason's whereabouts wasn't helping.  

 

Feeling dizzy with worry, Juliana decided to call Jason one more time. And if he didn't pick up this time, she would take a cab to TAC and try to find out what was going on once and for all!

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

Benny rode in the back of the ambulance with Jason, silently praying his friend would be all right. There was so much blood painting the pavement in front of TAC, it was unreal. The bandages that the paramedics had put on Jason’s abdomen and chest were soaked with blood, and didn't seem to be doing any good at stopping the bleeding. Benny watched the heart monitor, every beep a comfort to him. 

 

Benny looked, horrified, at Jason’s broken form. His face had lost all color, except for some scratches, which he must have gotten when his glasses broke. Jason was still in his nice suit, though the paramedics ripped open his shirt to reveal his hairy bare chest, now matted with blood. 

 

It caught Benny off guard when Jason’s phone vibrated against his leg. Pulling Jason’s phone out, Benny looked to see a cute picture of Jason and Juliana on the display. Juliana was calling. Benny didn’t want to tell her what was going on, but she needed to know. After a moment's hesitation, Benny answered the phone.

 

“Hello?” Benny rasped quietly.

 

 _“Jason, where the hell are you? You tell me to meet you at the restaurant, and I’ve been waiting here for 30 minutes past the time you told me. I don’t know what’s holding you up at TAC, but whatever it is, you should have let me know! I've been worried sick about you!”_  Juliana ranted, the worry evident in her voice.

 

“Juliana,” Benny calmly interrupted.

 

 _“What a second. Benny? Benny, what are you doing with Jason's phone?"_  Juliana inquired, panic creeping into her voice.

 

“Juliana, listen to me…Meet us at NYU Medical Center,” Benny managed to get out.

 

 _“Benny, why are you going to the hospital?”_  Juliana questioned, her fear clearly getting the best of her.

 

"BP’s dropping! He’s losing more blood!" a paramedic yelled.

 

 _“Benny, I want to know right this instant. What the hell is going on?!”_  Juliana demanded.

 

But Benny didn't hear her. He watched in horror as the comforting beeping of the heart monitor turned into a flat line with an loud, shrill sound.

 

“We’re losing him!” the paramedic yelled as she started pounding on Jason’s chest, trying to get his heart to pump again as she did CPR.

 

 _“Benny? Who are they losing? Benny?!”_  Juliana’s voice cracked.

 

“Ja…Jason. He’s been shot,” Benny stammered before letting the phone drop to his side, forgetting to hang up.

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

 _"Jason was shot? They're losing him? If they're losing him, that means I’m losing him, too,"_  Juliana realized as she listened in at the commotion on the other end of the line.

 

As the shrill sound of Jason flat lining continued, Juliana knew that the love of her life was gone. 

 

Left in shock as a wave of nausea came over her, Juliana was almost too dizzy to keep her eyes open. But she needed to keep it together long enough to call a cab and get herself to the hospital. Even if it was too late to save Jason, she needed to see him one last time.


	7. I Carry Your Love Inside Me

Juliana’s mind raced, preparing for the worst as the cab rush towards the hospital.

 

_"This can’t be happening. Not now! I finally meet my true love - my twin flame - and now he’s gone?"_

 

Juliana had hoped that Benny was being over dramatic, but there was no mistaking the ominous, ongoing beep of Jason flat lining that Juliana heard over the phone.   
  
An ambulance pulled under the awning going to the emergency room just ahead of the cab. Without hesitation, Juliana threw a wad of cash at the cab driver.

 

“Keep the change!” she yelled as she went running to the ambulance.

 

When Juliana saw the paramedics unloading a man, and one of the paramedics was on the gurney doing CPR, her heart dropped. When she saw Benny climb out of the ambulance, she lost it, and went running to the paramedics and Benny. To say she was hysterical was an understatement.

 

“What's going on? Why are you doing chest compressions?” Juliana demanded to know. “Benny, you better tell me what’s going on right now!”   
  
Before Benny could answer, the medical team came rushing out to assist the paramedics in getting Jason back to a trauma bay. When the gurney turned, the reality of losing Jason came crashing down. She could see his pale face under a Bag Valve Mask that a nurse was using to force air into Jason’s lungs, while another nurse climbed onto the gurney and start chest compressions.

 

“Let’s get him in trauma bay 2,” a nurse shouted.

 

With that, Benny and Juliana ran with the nurses and paramedics. They stood outside the room and watched as the medical staff tried furiously to save Jason’s life. It seemed like everything moved in slow motion for Juliana. She watched as IVs were started. She could see just how much blood was lost. _“He really was shot!”_ the realization of all that had happened hit her like a ton of bricks. She looked into Benny’s eyes, which watched in horror as the paramedic fought to get Jason back.  

 

“Still no heartbeat!” a nurse yelled out before another one took over doing CPR.

 

“It’s too late,” Benny whispered, as tears began to flow.

 

Just then, a doctor came rushing in to check Jason out.

 

“What’ve we got?” the doctor asked.

 

“49 year old Jason Bull. 3 gunshot wounds; one to the back, one to the abdomen and one on the left side of the chest. When we got to him he was still breathing and had a weak pulse. He started crashing about 5 minutes out. We were afraid to use the AED with the bullet so close to his heart,” the paramedic said.

 

The doctor examined Jason and saw the bullet wasn’t just too close to his heart, but had in fact hit his heart. Any other time, with a gunshot wound to the heart and the person already in cardiac arrest, he would have called the time of death. But there was something different about this guy. Something that just screamed "save me." Even if Jason was already dead, this doctor wanted to give him every chance he could to beat the odds.

 

“Call the OR and tell them we're sending a patient up their way! I want a cardiologist, internal medicine, and an orthopedic surgeon on standby! I’ll be damned if Mr. Bull here dies on my watch!” the doctor barked.

 

“It’s actually 'doctor.' He’s Doctor Jason Bull.” Benny corrected.

 

The doctor spun around and was shocked to see Benny and Juliana standing in complete shock and horror at the sight of Jason.

 

“What are you doing back here?” the doctor asked. “Who are you?”

 

“I am Dr. Bull’s brother, and this is his wife,” Benny answered.

 

Juliana looked up at Benny in shock _. "Jason’s wife? I'm not even his fiancée! I'm only his girlfriend,”_ Juliana thought, once again reminded of a future that would most likely never be.

 

“I'm sorry, I'm going to have to ask you to go to the waiting room - Where are you going?!” the doctor demanded, as Benny and Juliana went running alongside Jason as they tried to wheel him back to surgery.

 

“Okay! Stop!" the doctor called out, causing everyone to halt in their tracks. "As both of you know, we are doing our best to get Jason back and keep him alive. But the situation doesn’t look good. Even after we do this extensive surgery, we may still not be able to get Jason’s heart beating. I suggest you say your goodbyes now, just in case.” The doctor seemed a little more sympathetic to the situation when he saw just how much Dr. Bull’s meant to his wife and brother.  
  
Benny and Juliana approached the gurney, staring tearfully at Jason's lifeless form.

 

“You have to keep fighting. This is not the end, Bull,” Benny whispered.

 

“I love you, Jason. Always know that! I will see you when you come out of surgery.” Juliana wiped away a few stray tears before placing a kiss on Jason’s cheek.

 

As Jason was wheeled into surgery, Both Benny and Juliana walked alongside the gurney until they reached a set of double doors and were told they couldn’t pass.

 

As Juliana watched Jason fade from view, she feared that was their final goodbye. She only hoped that Jason knew how much he really was loved.

 

The doctor walked Benny and Juliana to the OR waiting room, and the two sat down on a couch, Benny wrapping his arms around a hysterical and sobbing Juliana.   
  
In the corner of the room, something caught their attention; a TV, turned to the local news broadcast.

 

 _“Breaking news tonight; a man is in critical condition after being shot.  49 year old Dr. Jason Bull was shot multiple times outside the headquarters of his consulting firm, Trial Analysis Corporation. Right now, police have no suspects. According to witnesses, Dr. Bull, an expert in the field of trial science, had just walked out of the building before being gunned down. We will continue to follow this story and give you any updates on Dr. Bull’s condition, and if any details on the shooter's identity are made known.”_ The anchor announced as video of the scene outside TAC was shown. Benny could still see the pool of blood that Jason had been lying in before help arrived. The sight of the blood, and knowing it was Jason’s, nearly  made Juliana sick. She snuggled her face into Benny’s neck and sobbed.   
  
_BullBullBullBullBull_  
  
When Juliana returned from the restroom, she found the entire TAC team gathered in the waiting room, Benny giving them the details of what had happened to Jason.  
  
Deciding this was not a conversation she wished to be part of, she sat quietly on a chair in the corner of the room. Overwhelmed with grief and nausea, she curled up into a ball, wishing she could somehow escape this waking nightmare.  
  
"Hey," a gentle voice called, pulling Juliana from her self made bubble of grief.   
  
She looked up, face teary and red from crying, to see a concerned Chunk watching her.  
  
"You need anything?" Chunk inquired. "Wanna get something to eat? I know you were supposed to meet Dr. Bull for dinner -"  
  
"No thanks," Juliana politely declined. "I should stay here, in case there's any news about Jason."  
  
"I can pick something up for you," Chunk offered. "I think there's a good Thai place -"  
  
"No. Thank you." Juliana gave Chunk an apologetic look. "Honestly, even if Jason had made our dinner date, I don't know what I would have eaten. I haven't had much of an appetite these past few days, and I've just been super fatigued.  
  
"Do you need to see a doctor?"  Chunk asked, concerned. " Because we _are_ in a hospital. I'm sure there's someone here who could - "  
  
"Nah. It's probably just a bug. I just hope it passes soon." Juliana sighed. "Hell, I'm even put off by smells, lately."  
  
"Hmm." Chunk took a seat beside Juliana. "You know what that sounds like to me?"  
  
Juliana looked up, giving Chunk a questioning look. "I know what it sound like to _me_ , but how would _you_ know anything about it?"   
  
"Don't change the subject."  
  
Juliana sighed audibly. "Yeah. It's crossed my mind that I might be pregnant, but - I don't really want to think about it right now. Not until I know what's going on with Jason."  
  
Juliana hoped that Chunk wouldn't press the issue any further. It was already too much for her to face the very real possibility of a life without Jason. She couldn't imagine raising his child without him.  
  
"Okay." Chunk nodded in understanding. "How about we just take a walk. We won't have to stray too far. Just a little stroll up and down the hall to calm your nerves."  
  
"Sure," Juliana agreed, feeling relief and comfort in Chunk's easygoing presence. It was refreshing during this time of uncertainty.   
  
Chunk stood first, reaching out his hands to help Juliana up, and the two made their way down a quiet hallway.  
  
"Look, I know things are scary right now," Chunk spoke up after a brief silence. "But if there's one thing I know about Dr. Jason Bull, it's that when he truly believes in something, he fights for it. And if he meets opposition along the way, he fights harder. And the love between the two of you? He believes in that more than anything, Juliana."  
  
"That's sweet of you to say," Juliana smiled up at Chunk. "But don't you think saying that 'the power of love will save him' is a little cheesy?"  
  
"I guess it is," Chunk laughed. "All I'm saying is, you've given him something to live for. And as much as he's able to, I think he's going to fight to hold on to the life that he has with you."  
  
"And if he can't?" Juliana asked, voice quivering.  
  
"Well then, he'll leave this world knowing he was loved, and he'll take all of the beautiful memories you shared with him."  
  
Stopping in his tracks, Chunk put a reassuring hand on Juliana's shoulder.  
  
"But try not to think about that. Instead, think about how happy you made each other these last few months. That's something that no one can ever take from you."  
  
Juliana stood quietly for a moment, contemplating what Chunk had said. While his words couldn't take away the sadness and worry she was feeling, they did fill her with a sense of peace. In a few short months, Juliana and Jason had experienced the kind of love most search their entire lives to find. And that love was something that would remain with her always.  
  
"You all right?" Chunk asked, pulling Juliana from her musings.   
  
"What?" Juliana blinked, snapping back into the moment. "Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I..." Juliana instinctively placed a hand to her stomach, somehow knowing there was a part of Jason that would always be with her. "You wanna take a walk to the pharmacy?"  
  
Taking a moment to study Juliana's body language, a smile lit up Chunk's features. "I think I know what this is about."  
  
Juliana laughed softly, the whole situation feeling bittersweet to her. But right now, she was choosing to focus on the sweet.  
  
"I want to pick up a pregnancy test," Juliana nodded. "It might be nice to know for certain if I am literally carrying Jason's love with me."


	8. Between Life and Death

Juliana stood at the sink in the women's restroom, examining the positive pregnancy test and struggling with her conflicting emotions.

Why couldn't things have been different? This was supposed to be joyous news, shared with Jason over a romantic dinner, or presented to him during one of their weekly lunch dates at TAC. Instead, Jason was in surgery, fighting for his life. There was a good chance he would never get the chance to meet his own child.

But then again, this was Jason's child. A living reminder of the beautiful love that existed between them. A way to keep Jason's memory alive.

Exiting the restroom, Juliana thought of Jason's team, who sat just down the hall in the waiting room, realizing she had come to think of them as family. And this family, who worried and grieved right along with her, waiting for any news on Jason's condition, deserved to hear some good news.

As Juliana made her way into the waiting room, the entire TAC team rose to their feet, Danny, Cable and Marissa hugging her in turn. Chunk and Benny, having spent more time with her in recent hours, hung back and watched, smiling at the display of sisterly love.

"How are you holding up?" Marissa asked, pulling back from the hug. "Is there anything we can do for you?"

"Actually, I…um…" Juliana stammered, unsure where to begin.

"Juliana." Chunk smiled knowingly. "Is there something you want to tell us?"

Juliana nodded with a nervous sigh. Words failing her, she thrust the positive pregnancy test into Marissa's hand.

Marissa's eyes widened and her jaw dropped in surprise as she stared at the little window. Soon the entire team gathered round, voicing their excitement.

"Oh my God! I can't believe we're going to have a little baby Bull to spoil soon!" Danny exclaimed.

"Did you plan this?" Marissa inquired. "I mean, were you trying?"

"Not at all," Juliana answered, shaking her head. "We were open to the idea, but we certainly didn't plan for this. And now…now that Jason's been shot…I hate to think he might never hold our baby!" Erupting into a fit of sobs, Juliana collapsed into Chunks arms.

Chunk wrapped his arms around the petite woman, doing his best to comfort her as the team stood around, at a loss for words. How could they offer her any believable reassurance when Jason's status was so uncertain?

"You're not alone in this, mama," Chunk finally said. "We're all here for you. And whatever happens with Jason, we'll get through this, together."

"Chunk's right," Benny agreed, taking Juliana by the hand and leading her over to a chair. "Now, I want you to sit down, relax and breathe. You need to take care of yourself, and that little one. Okay? Do it for Jason."

Juliana nodded, moving to sit down. But before she was fully seated, a doctor's voice bellowed across the room.

"Family of Jason Bull?"

Juliana startled at those words, her heart sinking. Everyone turned expectantly towards the doctor, waiting to hear if Jason was still alive, or if he had passed.

"We're his family," Chunk spoke for the group.

"How is he?" Juliana's voice cracked.

The doctor sighed and motioned for everyone to have a seat. Marissa and Benny exchanged glances, knowing this wasn't good.

Juliana sat between Chunk and Benny. Chunk put an arm around Juliana, holding her tight; knowing she would likely break down at the news they were about to receive. Benny held Juliana's hand reassuringly, dreading the news himself.

"The good news is, Jason's alive," The doctor began.

The group let out a collective sigh of relief. All that mattered was that Jason survived.

"However, there is bad news."

"What's the bad news?" Juliana asked, instinctively squeezing Benny's hand to comfort herself.

The doctor scrubbed his face, sighing. "Jason was shot three times; once in the chest, once in the abdomen and once in the back. That being said, he was lucky he didn't die before they were able to get him into surgery. The way the bullet hit his heart, it's a miracle it didn't go straight through and shred it. Instead, the bullet was lodged in his heart, which is what caused it to stop beating properly when he was brought in. We were able to remove the bullet and make major repairs. Where he was shot in the abdomen, the bullet hit his spleen. He had a lot of internal bleeding. But we were able to repair the spleen, and continue to have him on a blood transfusion. As for the bullet that hit him in the back, we couldn't repair the damage. I'm sorry, but Jason will never be able to walk again."

Juliana leaned her head onto Chunks shoulder and cried. She loved how tall Jason was, and the fact that she would never be able to look up into his eyes again, feeling small, yet secure in his presence, broke her heart.

"Can we go see Jason?" Marissa asked, voice shaky, and eyes glistening with tears.

"Of course," the doctor said kindly. "He was being moved from recovery to an ICU room when I came out here."

"Let me run to the bathroom real quick, then I want to go see him," Juliana almost whispered, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Of course." The doctor nodded sympathetically.

Sniffling, Juliana turned around, quietly sobbing as she made her way down the hall.

Once Juliana was out of earshot, Marissa decided to ask the hard questions.

"Be honest with us, doctor. Is there any risk of complications?" Marissa questioned.

"Of course, just like with any surgery," the doctor answered. "Jason could have a pulmonary embolism that could break off and cause a stroke or heart attack. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but since Jason already had a heart attack three years ago, there's a greater chance he might not pull through, due to the amount of damage his heart sustained and how weak it is."

"Okay, gang." Marissa turned to address the group. "No matter what, we don't tell this to Juliana. She has enough to deal with as it is. She's carrying our bosses' baby, and we don't want her to lose this child because she's stressed herself out worrying about Jason."

The team nodded in silent agreement as they saw Juliana return from the bathroom.

"Are you ready?" the doctor asked.

"As ready as we'll ever be," Juliana sighed tiredly.

"I'm sorry, but because Jason is in Intensive care, I can only allow two of you back at a time," the doctor said apologetically.

"Well, Juliana needs to see him first. Obviously," Benny reasoned. "Chunk, why don't you go with her? I'm…I'm not sure I'm ready yet."

"I can go with you, Benny. Whenever you're ready," Marissa said gently.

Benny smiled back in appreciation. "Thanks."

"Shall we?" Chunk reached for Juliana's hand, the two following the doctor's lead.

With Juliana being Jason's girlfriend, and the mother of his child, and Benny being the one who found Jason bleeding outside TAC, Chunk guessed they both needed a calming presence with them when they went in to see Jason. He was glad that Marissa could provide this for Benny.

Juliana and Chunk followed the doctor to the Intensive Care Unit. They then walked down a long hallway until they came to room 1063, Jason's room.

"He should be waking up any time now. Just go in and start talking to him. I should warn you, he may say some off the wall things as he comes out of the anesthesia," The doctor explained.

Chunk and Juliana entered the room, looking on as the doctor pulled back the curtain. Jason lie perfectly still, hooked up to monitors and IV's, a nasal cannula helping him breathe.

"Jason!" Juliana cried, running to his side.

Juliana brushed Jason's hair from his pale, cut up face, placing a tender kiss on his cheek.

"Don't scare me like that again, Jason," she whispered. "I can't imagine a life without you. I can't imagine a world where our child never gets to meet their father.

Smiling, Juliana placed a hand to her stomach. "That's right, Jason. I'm pregnant. And I know our child is going to be amazing! Smart, insightful, funny and kind. Just like you. So I need you to rest up and heal. I don't want you to miss a single moment with our baby. "

Sitting down in a chair at Jason's bedside, Juliana waited for him to wake up, letting the occasional tear fall from her eyes. Watching Jason's breath rise and fall under the blankets filled Juliana with a sense of hope.

But for Chunk, things seemed a little too calm and quiet. Something wasn't right.

Chunk observed that the left side of Jason's face was starting to droop. He hoped that it wasn't a stroke, as the doctor warned might be a possible complication.

Jason's heart rate started escalating, showing quick and fast green lines that looked like mountains on his heart monitor.

"Jason, everything is all right. Juliana and I are right here with you. You just need to calm down. You're going to be okay." Chunk rubbed Jason's arm, hoping and praying that the calming words would ease him a bit.

But within two minutes of Chunk making a mental note of Jason's face drooping, a straight line appeared on the monitor and Jason's breathing stopped as the alarms began going off.

"Chunk, what's going on?! Why isn't Jason breathing?! What's wrong with him?!" Juliana panicked.

Within a matter of seconds, a nurse came running in and hit the little code blue button above Jason's bed. Juliana stood in shock as she watched the young nurse drop Jason's bed flat, put something under his back and removed the nasal cannula. She started doing chest compressions until more nurses and a doctor came running in with a crash cart.

"I'm going to have to ask you to please leave the room," a nurse stated politely.

Juliana crossed her arms and planted her feet, wanting to make sure Jason was all right.

"No! I can't leave him! I won't leave him!" Juliana yelled.

"Ma'am we are trying to - "

"Damn it! I said no! I'm staying right here until you save him!" Juliana cried.

"Juliana, we really need to step out," Chunk said gently, pulling her towards the door.

"Get away from me!" Juliana screamed, shoving Chunk as she tried to move closer to Jason.

Chunk intervened by picking the tiny woman up, carrying her as she screamed and hit him.

Over Chunk's shoulder, Juliana could see Jason's body lifting off the bed as a doctor tried to restart his heart.

Chunk remembered what the doctor had said, but didn't feel like this was the time to tell Juliana that Jason might not pull through. If they had to lose Jason, Chunk didn't want to risk losing Juliana or their baby as well.


	9. A Distant Voice

Juliana sobbed quietly, curled up on the small couch in the waiting area. Too tired and overwhelmed with grief to fight anymore, she just wanted the world to disappear. She wanted to open her eyes and see that this had all been one long nightmare. But she knew that wasn't so. Jason – the love of her life - was gone. Ripped away from her before he'd even have a chance to meet his own child.

 

"Hey," Danny called to Juliana, giving her a gentle nudge. "We got you something."

 

Juliana looked up tiredly, swiping away her tears, to see Danny holding a  paper bag and Taylor holding up a bottle of apple juice with a straw in it.

 

"No, thanks." Juliana shook her head. "Don't feel good."

 

Taylor sat down next to her.

 

"I know you don't. I had a rough time in the first few weeks of my pregnancy too. But come on, you're pregnant with Dr. Bull's baby, and you need to take care of yourself – and that little one growing inside you." Taylor urged her as she rubbed Juliana’s back.

 

Juliana put a hand to her stomach, blinking back tears. "Jason's baby…" she whispered.

 

"Come on. Small sips," Taylor gently encouraged, placing the juice in Juliana's hand. "Do it for Dr. Bull. Do it for that little life the two of you created together."

 

Sniffling, Juliana nodded, placing her lips around the straw and slowly sipping down the juice.

 

"And, when you're ready…" Danny held up a small paper bag. "I also got you a blueberry muffin."

 

"Thanks," Juliana said softly, trying to mask her disgust. Nothing sounded particularly appetizing right now. And she was too sick with worry to eat anyway. But she knew that Danny and Taylor was right. She had to take care of herself and the baby. Jason's baby.

 

Looking up from her juice, Juliana watched Chunk return to the waiting room and take a seat beside her.

 

"I just want to let you know, I called your mom and told her what happened," Chunk informed Juliana. "She said she's fine with watching Daniel for the weekend, and to call her if there's anything else you need."

 

"Daniel…" Juliana sighed. "Someone needs to tell him what happened. I don't know how - "

 

"Leave that to me," Chunk said kindly. "You've got enough to think about right now."

 

"Thanks." Juliana nodded tiredly. "Did you tell my mom about the baby?"

 

"No." Chunk smiled at the mention of Juliana's pregnancy. "That's your news to share."

 

Setting her juice gently on the floor, Julia reached into the paper bag, breaking off a small bite of muffin and putting it in her mouth. It didn't taste very good, but she was thankful to Danny for thinking of her and the baby.

 

The entire TAC team was being so great! Offering love and support when she felt she had nothing left to give of herself.

 

Breaking off another bite of muffin, Juliana glanced at Benny, who was being comforted by Marissa and Chunk; tearfully blaming himself for what had happened.

 

"I should have been there," Benny choked. "He offered to hold the elevator for me. I should – "

 

"Benny, there's no way you could have known this would happen," Marissa told him. "This wasn't your fault."

 

Juliana sighed, folding the bag closed and placing it in her lap. Logically, of course, she knew that Marissa was right. What happened to Jason wasn't Benny's fault. Still, a part of her couldn't help but think that, if Jason hadn't been out there alone, that maniac wouldn't have shot him.

 

But she kept this to herself. She was too tired to fight, and knew it wasn't what Jason would want. Besides, Benny seemed to be blaming himself enough for the whole group.

 

"Bull family?" the doctor called to them.

 

Juliana looked up to see the doctor, whose name tag read "Dr. Fleming", watch them with a grim expression.

 

"Go ahead and give us the bad news," Benny said, standing. "Jason's gone, isn't he?"

 

"Actually, no. For the time being, he's hanging in there," Dr. Fleming answered with a sad smile. "Jason suffered a massive stroke and heart attack. He's in surgery right now, and we're installing what is called a left ventricular assist device, or LVAD, which will help his weakened heart to beat. At this time, we believe it would be in Jason's best interest to place him on life support. His body is extremely weak, but we want to give him every fighting chance."

 

Hearing the doctor explain Jason's condition, Benny felt even more guilty. It was bad enough that Jason would never walk again. But now to suffer a major stroke and a second heart attack? And all on the night he was supposed to propose to his pregnant girlfriend.

 

"Will there be any residual damage?" Marissa asked.

 

"Unfortunately, yes," Dr. Fleming nodded. "If he comes back to us, depending on the level of brain damage, it could be as slight as just a bit of weakness on his left side. Or it could be more severe, to the point where he has to learn to talk and feed himself again."

 

"So, your saying he could be like a baby? Having to relearn everything all over again?" Juliana asked, voice thick with emotion.

 

"Yes. I'm afraid so," The doctor sighed.

 

Juliana sobbed. She was carrying Jason's baby, yet Jason might end up a baby himself. That is, if he ever came off life support. But Juliana decided it didn't matter. As long as Jason came back to her alive, she would take him in any state he was in.

 

"Usually, when people hear 'life support', they start making end of life arrangements. What I would suggest is to pray for the best outcome, and hope it doesn't come to that. Honestly, with the beating Jason's body has taken, it's a miracle he survived. So, while I don't want to give you false hope, I can tell you that Jason is strong," Dr. Fleming said reassuringly. "The surgeon will come and get you when he is out of surgery."

 

With a polite nod, the doctor exited the waiting area, leaving the group with a tentative sense of hope, and an overwhelming sense of loss.

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

It was a long and painful 6 hours, with a thick tension hanging in the room. On one side was Benny, who kept blaming himself for what had happened. On the other side was Juliana, grieving the life she could have had with Jason, now cruelly snatched away from her.

 

"Bull family?" a doctor called.

 

Juliana and the team looked up with tired and weary eyes.

 

"I'm Dr. Miller, Jason's cardiologist. I just want to walk you guys through a few things. He pulled through the surgery just fine. We were able to attach the LVAD to his heart, and it is working properly. So, his heart will continue to beat, even if the rest of his body gives up. He has been placed on life support, but we are hoping in the coming weeks his body will become strong enough to be taken off of it. Also, he is no longer in the ICU room he was in before. We have moved him to a special wing of our ICU, specifically for patients on life support. That being said, we don't have to limit visitors as long as you are quiet and respectful."

 

"Can we please see him now?" Juliana asked, wiping the tears from her puffy eyes.

 

"Of course. Please follow me."

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

4710 was a number Juliana would never forget. It was the room where her beloved Jason lie, fighting for his life.

 

The team took pretty well to seeing Jason on life support, Juliana and Benny being the exceptions. One glance at Jason sent Benny running to the bathroom to expel what little he had eaten.

 

As for Juliana, it was all she could do to keep herself from crying at the sight. A tube was shoved down Jason's throat, connecting to what looked like a blue hose, helping him breath. Jason's face looked nothing like the face Juliana had known. The left side sagged and drooped. A box on Jason's abdomen attached to wires going to his heart.

 

Could this be the new normal? Was this the new Jason? Hidden behind all the wires and tubes was the father of Juliana's child, kept alive only by machines.

 

"Hey, Jason," Juliana rasped. "I'm so proud of you for staying strong and hanging in there for me. The doctor told us it's a miracle you're even alive."

 

Juliana took hold of Jason's cold, limp hand, suppressing a sob as she recalled the firm, reassuring grip he used to have.

 

"You need to get better, sweetie bear. You need to come back to us, so we can be a family. Our baby needs to know their father."

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

It was dark where Jason was. He couldn't see. He couldn't feel his body. He was unaware of time and place, and that was terrifying.

 

But he could hear a faint, persistent beep, and he guessed he must be in a hospital, most likely in a bad state. And he could hear a distant voice calling to him. Juliana. Focusing on her sweet, musical voice, Jason found comfort.

 

_"You need to get better, sweetie bear. You need to come back to us, so we can be a family. Our baby needs to know their father."_

 

 _"Juliana,"_ Jason tried to call to her. But his useless mouth stayed silent.

 

Jason wanted to comfort Juliana. He wanted to tell her that somehow, he would fight his way back to her. Though he felt trapped in this darkness, he was determined to find his way to the light and reunite with Juliana, Daniel and their unborn child. Jason finally had the family he'd always wanted. Somehow, he would find his way back to them.


	10. Dad

"Chunk? Why are we here at TAC? On a Saturday?" Daniel asked, keeping his eyes focused on the video game they were playing.

"Well, I know how much you like all the tech there. And since no one is using it today, we'll have it all to ourselves," Chunk tried to explain.

"Something bad happened, didn't it?" Daniel asked. "That's why my mom and Jason didn't come home last night. That's why my grandma has been quiet and weird all day." The boy's voice cracked with worry, and as Chunk looked into his watery brown eyes, his heart nearly broke.

Chunk had fully intended to tell Daniel what happened to Jason later that day. He just wanted him a little more relaxed first. (Or was it that he wanted  _himself_  more relaxed when he broke the news to the boy?) But Daniel was a smart, perceptive kid. Was it really any surprise he was starting to figure things out?

Pausing the game, Chunk set down his controller.

"Yeah." Chunk nodded sadly. "Something happened. Jason got hurt last night."

"How?"

Chunk sighed audibly. The truth of what happened to Jason was scary and upsetting, and there was really no way to sugar coat it for a 10 year old. Taking Daniel into his arms, he held the boy close.

"Somebody shot Jason," he managed to choke out.

"You mean with a gun?" Daniel asked, looking up at Chunk in shock.

"Yeah," Chunk choked out in confirmation.

"Is he…is he dead?" Daniel sounded like he was about to cry.

"No." Chunk kissed the top of Daniel's head. "He's alive. But for now, he's on life support."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that Jason's got machines keeping him alive. Helping him breath, helping his heart beat. That kind of thing. The hope is that his body will get stronger and he won't need the machines anymore," Chunk explained.

"Jason will get better," Daniel stated, though he didn't sound entirely sure of his own words. "He would never leave my mom and me."

"I think his body is fighting really hard to get better," Chunk agreed. "I want you to keep thinking positive like that, all right?"

Daniel nodded, smiling through his tears.

"But you need to understand that when Jason wakes up, he's not going to be the person you remember. He's going to need some extra help."

"What kind of help?" Daniel asked nervously.

"Well, for starters, Jason's legs don't work anymore. So he'll need a wheelchair to get around. Also, Jason suffered a heart attack and stroke. That means that his heart is really weak now, and part of his brain has died. So he won't be very strong. He may even have to relearn things like speaking and feeding himself."

"Oh." Daniel looked down dejectedly, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Hey. It'll be okay, little man," Chunk tried to reassure Daniel, hugging him a little tighter. "Jason will be able to get help, and eventually, he'll adjust to his new life."

"I know," Daniel sobbed. "It's just…I love Jason like he's my dad. He's so nice and funny, and he always took care of my mom and me. And now, he's gonna need people to take care of him. It's not fair!" Daniel looked up at Chunk with a teary eyed, questioning look. "Why would anyone want to hurt Jason? He's, like, the best person ever!"

"I don't know," Chunk answered. "I'll never understand why people do things like that. And I agree, it's not fair." Chunk swiped away Daniel's tears, giving him a kiss on the forehead.

Daniel sat quietly for a moment, thinking about all he had just been told.

"Chunk?" he finally spoke up. "Can we go see him?"

_BullBullBullBullBull_

"Remember, Daniel, Jason is going to look different from the way you remember him," Chunk warned, as the two approached the door to Jason's hospital room. "He's got a lot of tubes and wires hooked up to him, and one side of his face sags a little now because of the stroke. If this is too upsetting for you, we don't have to stay."

Daniel looked nervous and scared, but there was a loving determination in his eyes as well.

"No." Daniel shook his head. "I can handle it. I want to see him. I want to see my dad."

"Okay." Chunk smiled down at the boy, giving his shoulder a squeeze as they entered the room.

Slowly approaching Jason's bed, Daniel gravitated to Juliana, who stood watching over Jason tearfully. Catching sight of her son, Juliana welcomed him into her arms.

"Jason's gonna be okay, mom," Daniel tried to reassure her. "I know he is. He would never leave us."

"Let's hope you're right," Juliana said softly, smiling at Daniel through her tears.

"Do you think Jason will hear me if I talk to him?" Daniel asked, trying his best to put on a brave face as he stared at Jason, wires and tubes sticking out of him as though he were the heart of some giant machine.

"Yeah. I like to think so," Juliana answered. "I've been talking to him."

"Okay…" Moving a few steps closer to Jason, Daniel gingerly held his index finger.

"Hey, Jason. I heard you're gonna need some help when you wake up. Well, I want you to know I'll help take care of you. I want to. Because…because I love you, and I think of you like my dad."

Daniel looked from Jason to Juliana, taking his mother's hand and moving it to touch Jason's. Juliana squeezed Jason's hand in response, smiling at her son.

"We need you to get better…dad. You can't see, but my mom is crying now. Everyone is crying. You need to wake up, because everybody needs you."

_BullBullBullBullBull_

The declaration of love from Daniel to Jason was almost too much for Benny.

Benny was the reason Jason lie in this hospital bed on life support. He was the reason this little boy was going to lose his father figure.

Benny knew he had to get away from the team - the people Jason considered his family. The emotions in the room were almost suffocating.

Feeling for his phone, Benny looked to Marissa.

"I've got a call I need to make," he informed her before slipping out into the hall.

Watching Benny leave, Marissa couldn't help but worry. It was unlike him to just up and leave in a situation like this.

After a few minutes, when Benny had not yet returned, Marissa excused herself and went into the hallway to look for him. No work matter was more important than being there for their boss in his time of need.

Marissa couldn't find Benny in the hallway, so she walked down to the waiting room. To her dismay, no Benny there either. Deciding he would come around when he was ready, she returned to stand vigil by Jason's side with Juliana, Daniel and the team.

_BullBullBullBullBull_

Benny went to the only place he could think of where he could temporarily escape from all that was happening; the chapel. Entering the small, quiet space, it was just him, alone in a place that had heard so many prayers for loved ones and friends. Pleadings to God to save a person's life and, he was sure, cursing God when their prayers were not answered.

Benny sat on the second pew and looked up at the cross that hung in front of him. He was a devout Catholic, raised in the church. He was an altar boy growing up, and had always been very strong in his faith. But that day he felt weak, like his faith was running low. Not sure if his prayers would reach the Almighty, he leaned back and just started pouring his heart out as though he were talking to an old friend.

"This is my fault," Benny cried. "It's my fault Daniel is losing his dad, and Jason and Juliana's baby will never know their father. Our team will have to look for new jobs and TAC is going to fall apart. All because I wasn't there with Jason when he walked out of TAC."

Spotting a Bible on the ground, Benny was so angry with himself that he picked it up and threw it like a football towards the cross. To his surprise, the Bible landed open. He went over to it and found it open to Jeremiah 29:11. Picking it up, he read the verse.

" 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' " Benny whispered.

Walking back to his pew, Benny sat the Bible down beside him before breaking down.

"How can this be a plan for any of us? How is this supposed to prosper us? Not to harm?! Seriously?! What would you call what happened to Jason?! Is that not harming him?! He is lying up in ICU on life support and this is supposed to give him hope and a future?! He's going to die, and for what?!" Benny angrily questioned, as though he was putting the Bible and God on trial and Jason was his client.

"Please let Jason pull through this. Take me instead! Jason has a baby on the way, so please work in his body and perform a miracle," Benny sobbed, sitting back and wiping away his tears before he continued.

"Please forgive me for not being there to watch over Jason, and not being there to stop the bullets."

Benny closed his eyes, letting the tears flow freely down his cheeks. Unable to live with the pain of knowing he could have prevented this tragedy, he needed to find a way to stop feeling.


	11. One More Worry

Juliana stepped off the elevator into TAC, arm in arm with Taylor.

 

"It feels strange to be here, knowing Jason isn't waiting for me," Juliana whispered tearfully. "It doesn't feel right, being here without him."

 

"Jason is exactly where he needs to be right now," Taylor reminded Juliana, as the pair walked into Jason's office. "And you need to be resting and relaxing, so that bean in your belly can grow into a healthy baby."

 

"I know," Juliana sighed. "I just feel bad leaving Jason – "

 

"Chunk is at the hospital with Jason. He'll call us if there's even the slightest change in Jason's condition. But in the meantime, I think he would want you to get some rest." Taylor smiled as she helped the petite woman onto the couch and placed a blanket over her. "Think how happy Jason will be when he wakes up and finds out you've been taking such great care of your baby."

 

"If Jason wakes up," Juliana corrected.

 

"I'm confident he will," Taylor said reassuringly. "He's got good reason to hold on now."

 

"I hope you're right." Juliana smiled tiredly, breathing in the scent of the pillow. "This pillow smells like Jason," she slurred. "I miss my sexy bear."

 

"I know you do," Taylor laughed softly, pulling the blanket up over Juliana's shoulder and noting that the mother of her boss' child had already fallen asleep.

 

Smiling at the sight, Taylor turned around and quietly exited Jason's office, allowing Juliana some much needed rest; silently thanking the woman for giving Jason a reason to keep fighting. For Juliana, Taylor was sure that he would.

 

Walking down the hall and into the main meeting area, Taylor found Marissa and Danny waiting for her.

 

"How's Juliana?" Danny inquired.

 

"Sleeping soundly," Taylor answered with a smile.

 

"Good to know. The poor woman needs the rest," Marissa said, standing. "You ready to get started?"

 

"Ready," Danny answered with a nod.

 

"All set here!" Chunk's voice could be heard calling from the big monitor. Though he was on Bull watch, it was important to the team that he be part of this meeting.

 

"Where's Benny?" Danny inquired.

 

"Oh. He called in. Said he's not feeling well. So, I told him I'd pass any relevant information on to him after we're done here."

 

"Understandable." Danny commented sadly. "Finding Dr. Bull like that…I can't even imagine."

 

"Exactly." Marissa nodded. "I think we can all agree this has been a rough weekend. But we have to remember that without Bull, the future of TAC is on the line. Which is why we're all gathered here on a Sunday morning. This isn't just about our jobs. It's about keep the company that Bull built from the ground up afloat until he's able to come back to work."

 

"Okay, but let's be real here," Chunk spoke up. "If Bull wakes up, he's gonna have a long road to recovery. And he won't be the person he was before getting shot. Ever again. We need to be prepared for that."

 

"I agree," Marissa said. "We need to make a plan for the long term. I've got some ideas I'd like to run past you. Ideas Dr. Bull might not necessarily like if he were here. " Marissa closed her eyes and took a loud, deep breath before continuing. "But I think he'd like losing TAC even less. So…here's what I'm thinking."

 

As Marissa addressed everyone, she couldn't ignore the worried feeling in the pit of her stomach. Benny had never called in. In fact, no one had heard from him since they'd left the hospital the night before. And despite the fact that she had tried repeatedly to get a hold of him that morning, it seemed that he was unreachable. For someone as professional and reliable as Benny, this was worrisome.

 

But with Jason in the hospital, just barely clinging to life, and Juliana's surprise pregnancy, the team already had a lot weighing on their minds. They didn't need one more thing to worry about. Not when they were trying to keep TAC afloat, and help Jason's pregnant girlfriend keep it together when losing the love of her life was a very real possibility.

 

So, the team would proceed with the meeting as planned. But as soon as it was over, Marissa had every intention of going to Benny's apartment to check up on him.

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

As Marissa made her way to Benny's, the worried feeling in the pit of her stomach grew heavier. She sensed something was wrong, and Benny's silence only served to confirm this. Calling Benny once again, it went straight to voice mail. And as she approached Benny's apartment and knocked on the door, she swore she could hear her heart pounding in her ears.

 

"Benny, it's Marissa! Open up!"

 

She stood there for a minute, waiting for an answer. When there was none, she tried calling for him again, thinking maybe he was in the bathroom and didn't hear her the first time.

 

"Benny, open up! We need to talk about the meeting!"

 

Still, no answer. Pulling her phone back out, she called him one last time. "Maybe he stepped out for a minute," she told herself.

 

The knot in Marissa's stomach grew tighter when she heard Benny's cell phone ringing on the other side of the door, yet again going straight to voicemail.

 

"Benjamin Colon! I'm coming in, whether you like it or not." Marissa finally hollered, deciding enough was enough.

 

Finding a spare key hiding under his welcome mat, Marissa let herself in. As she opened the door, the strong smell of vomit and alcohol overwhelmed her senses.

 

As Marissa made her way into the apartment, the odor led her into the living room. Empty bottles of alcohol littered the floor. Stepping carefully around them, she made her way to the front of the couch, and found Benny lying unconscious on the floor, a bottle of scotch in his hand and a pool of vomit near his face.

 

"Oh my God! Benny!" Rushing to Benny's side, Marissa dropped down beside him, rolling him onto his back.

 

"Benny! Benny, can you hear me? Please wake up!" Marissa smacked his face, trying to get a response.

 

Benny's skin was cold and clammy, and his fingernails and lips had started to turn blue. Marissa leaned down to feel if he was breathing, and found his breath to be very shallow. Pressing her fingers to his neck, she noted he had an irregular pulse.

 

With shaking hands, Marissa picked her phone up off the floor, dialing 9-1-1.

 

"Hello? Yes, my friend is – "

 

That's when things went from bad to worse, as Benny started to seize right in front of her. Frozen in panic, Marissa could only watch helplessly as Benny convulsed on the floor.

 

"What? Oh! Yes. I'm still here," Marissa whispered, startled by the 9-1-1 operator's voice on the other end of the line. "Yes…yes, that's the address. Please hurry!" she sobbed.

 

Help seemed like it was a million miles away as she watched the one person she had always seen as responsible and reliable stop seizing and become still. Way too still for Marissa's liking. Feeling his pulse again, she found he didn't have one.

 

 _"Benny, don't you do this to me. You hear me, Benny?! You can't just up and die on the team like this! Imagine how mad the big guy would be if he found out you did this!"_ Marissa thought as she cried. _"I can't lose you, Benny!"_

 

Fearing help wouldn't come in time to save her favorite lawyer and best friend, Marissa decided to take matters into her own hands and started performing CPR.

 

That's how the paramedics found her moments later when they came rushing into Benny's apartment. As they worked on him, all Marissa could do was sit back and cry. How could this be happening? The team had enough to worry about, with Jason fighting for his life, and a pregnant Juliana to take care of. And now this? If the alcohol didn't kill Benny, Marissa surely would.


	12. To Mend the Disconnect

 Marissa watched helplessly as the paramedics worked on Benny, trying to get a pulse in the back of the ambulance. He had a faint pulse when they left his apartment, but lost it before they were on the road.

 

"Come on Benny. Don't do this to us. Not now. Not like this," Marissa whispered through her tears.

 

Watching as the paramedics pounded on Benny's bare chest, she was afraid they were going to break his ribs with the force they were putting behind each pound. The paramedics arms becoming like steel rods trying to get Benny’s heart to beat again.

 

Marissa watched as the paramedics switched from CPR to the AED in hopes of reviving Benny. She couldn't help but cry when the first round didn't bring him back. And despite her fear, she couldn't help also feeling sad, and a little bit angry. Marissa understood that Benny felt guilt over what had happened to Jason, but he should have come and talked to her, instead of turning to alcohol to erase his pain. After another round of CPR and the AED, something sparked to life on the heart monitor.

 

"We've got him back!" a paramedic exclaimed.

 

Marissa couldn't believe it. There was a glimmer of hope that Benny was going to make it. But that glimmer turned into a mess when Benny started throwing up, all over poor Marissa.

 

 _"At least he's alive,"_ Marissa thought, her relief outweighing her disgust.

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

Once they arrived at the hospital, Benny was whisked away to the ER while Marissa alerted a nurse that she was with him. She then made her way to the bathroom to try and get some of the vomit off of her dress. She wanted nothing more than to make sure Benny was all right, then go home to shower and change. But bathroom soap and paper towels did little to get rid of the stench on her dress, making Marissa very self-conscious as others in the waiting area made a point to keep their distance.

 

"Family of a Benjamin Colon?" a doctor called, startling Marissa out of her thoughts.

 

Marissa jumped from her seat and hurriedly approached the doctor.

 

"I'm here for Benny Colon."

 

"Are you family?" the doctor asked.

 

"Yes. He's my fiancé." Marissa said holding up her left hand, revealing her wedding ring. If only Benny could hear her, he would either fall over dead or be thankful. Then she thought of what Greg would say if he knew she just said Benny was her fiancé.

 

"Very well," the doctor nodded in approval. "Mr. Colon has alcohol poisoning. It looks like he was brought in just in time. I know the paramedics said they found a woman in his apartment doing CPR, and I'm guessing that was you. You should know that your efforts helped save your fiancé's life." The doctor smiled, patting Marissa's shoulder.

 

Marissa let out a sigh of relief, her heart suddenly feeling much lighter. The team didn't need something else to worry about right now.

 

"You can stay with him if you want to," the doctor informed Marissa.

 

"Stay with him?"

 

"Mr. Colon will be in the hospital for a few days. Since his blood alcohol level was so high, we have had to take some extreme measures."

 

"Such as?"

 

"Well, we had to pump his stomach to flush the alcohol out of his system. And we had a hard time getting him to breathe on his own, so he is hooked up to a ventilator now. But he should come off that in the next few hours as his breathing becomes more normal. At that point, we'll switch him over to a nasal cannula.

 

He was very dehydrated, so we have him on an IV drip to manage his hydration, blood glucose and vitamin levels. We've also got a catheter in him, since we really don't want him getting up and moving around right now," the doctor explained.

 

Marissa bit her lip, taking in everything she had just been told. Seeing Benny now, she imagined his appearance would remind her a lot of Jason in his current state. Marissa reminded herself that the two situations were very different. Benny could go home in a few days, once again returning to his life and his job. Physically, at least, the same man he was before. Jason, on the other hand, wouldn't be so lucky, even if he did wake up.

 

"He's still unconscious right now, but within in the next few hours he will start coming around, and he should be able to breathe on his own," the doctor continued, pulling Marissa out of her thoughts. "At that point, we'll take out the tube, and continue to keep an eye on him."

 

"Trust me, I'll be keeping an eye on him as well." Marissa smirked.

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

Benny blinked his eyes open groggily, looking over at Marissa with gratitude.

 

He had been in the hospital for at least a day, with no memory of how he got there, and no memory of Marissa finding him. But somehow, she must have. Because from the moment he first woke up, she was there, and had been a constant presence ever since.

 

Now, Marissa sat in a chair at Benny's bedside, quietly reading a book; unaware that Benny was even awake.

 

"H-hey," Benny croaked, then promptly coughed from his first attempt at speaking in days.

 

"Benny!" Marissa perked up, and was soon at Benny's side. "How are you feeling?"

 

"Like crap," he answered weakly. "But I think I'll live."

 

"Good to know." Marissa smiled at him. "Because there's something I need to ask you."

 

Benny grunted. "What is it?"

 

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Marissa hissed angrily. "Our boss is in this very hospital, fighting for his life! His pregnant girlfriend – already high risk, since she's over 40 – is stressing herself sick at the thought of raising their child without him! TAC is on the verge of collapse! And you decide now is a good time to drink yourself to death?!"

 

"I wasn't trying to drink myself to death," Benny sighed tiredly. "I just…I just wanted to stop feeling for a while."

 

Marissa's expression softened slightly. "Are you still feeling guilty about what happened to Jason?"

 

"I'll never forget how scared he looked…on the ground, choking on his own blood…" Benny whispered. "I tried to stop the bleeding but...Logically, I know it's not my fault. But every time I replay that night in my head, I wonder if things would have been any different if I had been with him. Maybe he wouldn't have been shot.

 

"Or, you could have both been shot," Marissa pointed out. "So why don't you stop torturing yourself over what's already past, and focus on something you actually have control over. Right now, Jason needs you! Juliana needs you! TAC needs you!"

 

Benny closed his eyes, trying to hold back the tears he could feel forming.

 

"You're right," he admitted sadly. "I'm sorry."

 

"I understand this is hard for you," Marissa said, giving Benny's shoulder a light squeeze. " I'm here if you need to talk."

 

"Thanks." Benny smiled at Marissa. "And tell everyone I'm sorry, all right? This is all really embarrassing."

 

"No one else knows what happened," Marissa informed Benny. "They don't need to know. Not with everything that's been going on. I just told them you got a stomach bug and won't be coming into work for a few days."

 

"Good. The team doesn't need the stress. Juliana doesn't need the stress." Benny looked up at Marissa apologetically. "I'm sorry, Marissa. I promise, when I get out of here, I'll be there for all of you 100%"

 

Marissa smiled down at Benny, ruffling his hair affectionately. "We're in this together. Don't forget that."

 

"I won't," Benny chuckled. "Not again."

 

Marissa smirked, turning around and grabbing her purse off of the back of the chair she had been sitting in.

 

"Well, I'm needed at TAC. You rest up. I'll come back to see later," she promised, giving Benny a peck on the forehead.

 

Seeming to realize what she had just done, Marissa stared at Benny for an awkward half second before quickly turning on her heels and leaving.

 

As Benny listened to the click of Marissa's heels grow quieter with each step, he couldn't help smiling. He was grateful that Marissa had found him in time.

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

"Thanks for coming in to help out," Taylor said gratefully, as Danny walked into the main area of TAC and with two cups of coffee and setting one down near Taylor at her work station.

 

“Of course! I couldn’t take sitting in my apartment alone worrying about Dr. Bull.” Danny’s voice trailed off.

 

Danny immersed herself in the police report from the night of the shooting.

 

"Danny, Can you help me with something?" Taylor asked.

 

"Sure thing. What's up?" Danny asked, looking up from the report.

 

"I'm about to examine the surveillance footage from the night Dr. Bull was…" Taylor sighed, swiping away her tears. "I just don't want to do this alone."

 

"I'm happy to help," Danny said, making her way over to Taylor. "But don't you want to wait until Marissa and Chunk are back?"

 

"Chunk is taking Juliana to the doctor. And I don't want Juliana around for this."

 

Juliana had been spending a lot more time at TAC recently, working out of Jason's office. Being there, surrounded by Jason's things, and the companionship of his team, seemed to be the only thing holding the pregnant woman together.

 

"Okay." Danny nodded in understanding. "Let's take a look. See if we can get an ID on that shooter."

 

The two women knew this would be no easy task, but even that knowledge couldn't prepare them for just how hard it would be.

 

They watched a very excited Dr. Jason Bull stepping off the elevator with a bounce in his step.

 

"Poor guy. He had no idea that would be the last time he would _walk_ out of the office," Taylor said thickly, fighting back her tears.

 

As Jason walked out of the building, another camera angle showed him stopping in his tracks, looking with curiosity at something off camera. A figure stepped out of the shadows, then fired his gun.

 

Danny and Taylor could see their boss hunched over in pain, blood trickling through his fingers as he held his abdomen. As he struggled to get back into the TAC building, a look of pain on his face and he fell to the ground.

 

"That must be the shot that paralyzed him." Danny commented, eyes glistening with tears.

 

The pair had to pause and take breaks between each gunshot. Knowing this is what landed their boss in his current state was almost unbearable. It was only their desire to identify Jason's shooter and bring him to justice that kept them going.

 

Knowing the third shot was to the heart, they tried their best to keep it together. As Taylor pressed "play" again, Danny wrapped her arms around Taylor, in an attempt to calm the both of them.

 

They could see the shooter kick Jason's broken body over before hovering over him. Jason's face couldn't be seen from this angle, but he was most certainly pleading for his life.

 

Taylor squeezed Danny closer as the third shot was fired, both of them knowing this was the shot that had left Jason hanging precariously between life and death.

 

"Can you imagine how scared Dr. Bull must have felt?" Taylor cried, as the video was left running. "He probably thought he was going to die right there."

 

"It's a miracle he didn't," Danny said sadly, wondering if death might be the kinder alternative to the life Jason would likely have if he ever woke up.

 

Suddenly, something on the footage caught their eye; a small figure walking up to Jason and being taken aback by the scene. A few moments later, they realized it was Benny. They watched the ever-growing puddle of Jason's blood form around him, and Benny dropping to his side trying to stop the bleeding.

 

"Poor Benny. No wonder he's so torn up over this," Taylor sighed.

 

"Okay. Let's go over this…horrible footage again. See if we can ID the bastard that shot Dr. Bull," Danny said, determined to make the guy pay.

 

Taylor scanned through the video until the shooter came into light.

 

"Stop right there. Can you freeze frame?" Danny asked.

 

Taylor worked her magic, and was able to make the image brighter and clearer.

 

Seeing the shooter's face staring back at her from the monitor, Danny gasped in shock.

 

"Oh my God…That's the bus boy from the café I like to go to!" she exclaimed.

 

"You saw that guy every day, and had no idea what he'd done," Taylor commented. "But why would some random bus boy want to hurt Dr. Bull?"

 

Standing up, Danny placed a hand firmly on Taylor’s shoulder.

 

"I don't know about you, but I could go for a scone. Can I get you anything?"

 

"How about some justice for Dr. Bull?"

 

"You got it!" Danny grinned, patting Taylor on the shoulder as she turned to go.

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

Jason could no longer tell if he was dreaming or awake, alive or dead. He felt trapped between states of existence. Death seemed to welcome him, with promise of peace and comfort. But just as he started to settle into this state of bliss, he heard Juliana's voice calling him back to the world of the living. Jason knew she was pregnant with his unborn child, and he would have a family waiting for him. And though it would be easy to settle into death, he knew this wasn't his time. He needed to find his way back. He needed to somehow mend this disconnect between body and soul.

 

"Jason?"

 

Juliana. She'd come back! Grounding Jason. Helping him feel at one with himself. Hearing her voice, Jason felt safe and certain.

 

_"I saw the doctor today. My first prenatal checkup this pregnancy. I wish you could have been there with me. But you'll be happy to know that Chunk took me and was a great support."_

 

Jason was filled with a sense of gratitude to Chunk - and to the entire TAC team - for supporting Juliana through this pregnancy that he should be awake to be a part of. He hated that he was missing out on this important time, and he wondered if he would even live to hold their child in his arms. But he took comfort in knowing Juliana wasn't facing this alone.

 

_"I was really worried about the baby," Juliana continued. "After all, being pregnant in my 40s already makes me high risk. But with all the stress I've been under...worrying about you..."_

 

Jason wanted to cry out to Juliana. He wanted to open his eyes, take the petite woman into his arms and apologize for all he was putting her though.

 

"But, to my relief, we heard not one, but two healthy heartbeats! Jason, we're having twins!"

 

At this news, Jason felt the pull grow stronger. Though he felt no physical pain, there was an ache; a longing for reunion. The woman he loved, and the boy he had come to think of as a son, were waiting for him. And now, two new lives that Jason and Juliana had created together were waiting to come into the world.

 

Jason was experiencing the ultimate loss of control, and he had never felt more helpless.

 

He didn't fear death anymore. When his time came, Jason would welcome its warmth and sense of peace. But now was not his time! He couldn't go before he'd had the chance to fulfill his role as husband and father. The role he now realized was meant for him all along.

 

If only his body would cooperate and let him wake up.


	13. Goodbye, Big Guy

 Juliana sat back and sighed, rubbing her growing baby bump. Though she was only 12 weeks pregnant, it was already quite impressive! “Is this normal with twins?” she wondered, shuddering at the thought of how big she would be by her third trimester.

 

The ringing of her cell phone startled Juliana out of her musings, and she silently cursed herself for leaving it on the kitchen counter.

 

Standing up slowly, Juliana made it to the kitchen just in time to answer before the call went to voicemail.

 

“Hey, Benny,” she said breathlessly. “Are you waiting outside?”

 

“Almost there,” Benny replied. “But my client meeting isn’t until 11:00. So, I was thinking we could swing by the hospital before going into TAC.”

 

Juliana rubbed her belly thoughtfully. Though Jason had been in the hospital for over a month now, she couldn’t help feeling hopeful that one day a miracle would occur and he’d open his eyes. She knew it was foolish. But right now, hope was all that kept her going.

 

“Sure. That sounds great,” she said agreeably.

 

“Okay. See you soon.”

 

“Bye, Benny.”

 

Clutching the phone to her chest, Juliana took a shaky deep breath, wondering how much longer she would be able to pretend everything was all right. Knowing in her heart that it never would be again.

 

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

 

Pulling up in front of Juliana’s apartment, Benny picked up his phone, dialing Marissa.

 

“Hey. I’m gonna have to ask you to call our clients and cancel our appointments for the day. I need you and the rest of the team to meet Juliana and me at the hospital as soon as you can.”

 

“Why? Benny, what’s going on?” Marissa asked worriedly.

 

Closing his eyes, Benny sighed audibly. “Jason’s doctor called,” he managed to choke out through his tears. “It’s time to say goodbye to the big guy.”

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

Juliana could see the worry in Benny’s eyes. She knew something was on his mind, and his silence concerned her. As the two walked to the ICU, time seemed to stand still. The air felt heavy; Juliana’s chest feeling tighter with every breath.

 

Entering the waiting room, Juliana saw Daniel and the rest of the TAC team waiting for her with Jason’s doctor.

 

“Daniel? Why aren’t you in school?” Juliana asked, taking her son into her arms.

 

“I took him out,” Taylor answered for the boy. “I figured he’d want to be here for this.”

 

 

 

“Why? What’s going on?” Juliana was starting to feel dizzy, as panic seized control of her body.

 

 

 

“Juliana, I think it’s best if you sit down,” Dr. Morris said softly.

 

 

 

“Come on.” Benny reached for Juliana, helping her to sit down before taking her hand and holding it. Chunk then moved to sit next to her and started rubbing soothing circles on her back.

 

 

 

“Jason has been in a coma for a over a month now,” Dr. Morris began. “As you know, he had a massive stroke and heart attack shortly after he was shot. He’s held on since then, and we had reason to be optimistic. That is, until today. I’m sorry to inform you that Jason had another stroke early this morning, followed by a post stroke seizure. We performed a CT scan and did an EEG…”

 

“And?” Juliana asked impatiently. If this was bad news – and it most likely was – Juliana really didn’t need the suspense.

 

“Juliana, there’s no easy way of saying this, but…Jason’s brain dead,” Dr. Morris explained sadly.

 

The room fell silent, everyone’s emotions weighing heavy in the air.

 

 

 

“Brain dead?” Juliana whispered tearfully.

 

 

 

“So, what do we do now?” Benny asked. 

 

 

 

“I suggest you let Jason go. Turn off the machines and let nature take its course. It could take a few seconds for him to let go, or he could hang on for a few days. But, for all intents and purposes, Jason is gone.  I’m so sorry,” doctor Morris said sympathetically.

 

 

 

“Can…can we see him.” Juliana choked.

 

 

 

“Of course. I won’t turn off the machines until you guys are ready. Take your time and say your goodbyes. When you’re ready, we will let Jason go.”

 

Chunk helped Juliana stand up, and she gave him a look of gratitude before making her way over to Daniel.

 

“You doing all right?” she asked, taking Daniel by the hand.

 

The boy simply shook his head. His silence concerned Juliana, and she wondered if Taylor taking him out of school might have been a mistake.

 

“You don’t have to be here if – “ Juliana began.

 

“No. I want to say goodbye to Jason. I just don’t want to be here when they turn off the machines,” Daniel explained.

 

“And you won’t have to be,” Taylor promised, smiling sadly at Daniel. “We can say our goodbyes, then I’ll take you out for lunch. Anything you want, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Daniel nodded, reflecting Taylor’s sad smile.

 

As Dr. Morris led the team into Jason’s room, Juliana felt an unspeakable ache in her heart. Looking at Jason without even the faintest glimmer of hope, knowing he was just a body now, was too much for her. She collapsed into Chunks arms in a fit of tears, unwilling to accept the reality before her.

 

“Easy, little mama. Let’s sit you down,” Chunk said, leading Juliana to a chair at Jason’s bedside. “Just take a breath, let everyone say their goodbyes, then you go ahead whenever you’re ready.”  

 

Juliana nodded, squeezing Chunk’s hand.

 

“I’ll go first,” Daniel offered, approaching Jason’s bed. “I’m gonna miss you, Jason. And I’m sad you won’t get the chance to be my dad, and the twins won’t get to meet you. We were supposed to be a happy family, and I hate that you got shot and have to leave us. But I’m gonna try and make you proud. I’ll help my mom with the babies, and make sure she doesn’t get too sad. I want her to smile again, like she did with you. I want us to be happy again.”

 

Juliana’s heart broke at her son’s word. No child should have to feel such an emotional burden.

 

“Come here, sweetheart,” she said, motioning Daniel over.

 

Daniel went to Juliana and gave her a hug. “We’ll be okay, won’t we?”

 

“Of course we will,” Juliana reassured him, cupping his cheek. “We’ll be sad for awhile, and we’ll always miss Jason. But he wouldn’t want us to stay sad forever. He’d want us to keep going, making happy new memories with these little ones. And remember, you’re a kid. You don’t need to be the ‘man of the house.’ All I want is for you to have a happy childhood.  I think that’s all Jason would want, too.”

 

“Okay,” Daniel sighed. “But I’m still gonna help you if you need it.”

 

“I appreciate that.” Juliana smiled. “I love you, Daniel.”

 

“Love you too, mom.” Daniel smiled back, kissing Juliana on the cheek.

 

“You about ready to go now, kiddo?” Taylor asked, sensing Daniel had had enough.

 

Daniel nodded, making his way over to Taylor.

 

“Just give me a minute, okay?” Taylor ruffled Daniel’s hair, then walked over to Jason’s bed.

 

“Dr. Bull? I just want to thank you for giving me this amazing opportunity to be part of this great thing you built with TAC. Tragedy brought us together. I think at first you weren’t very fond of me especially when I woke you up in the middle of the night playing my music really loud and dancing in the war room. But as time went on you really accepted me and made me feel a part of the TAC family. Thank you again and we are going to miss you.” Taylor wiped her tears before patting Jason’s arm with a sad smile. 

 

 

 

“We are gonna miss ya, big guy,” she said, as she took Daniel by the hand and moved to give Juliana a hug.

 

“You take care, all right? We’re all here for you. If you need me just call or text.”

 

“Thanks, Taylor,” Juliana sniffled.

 

“I’ll see you later, mom. I love you,” Daniel said, giving Juliana a kiss on the cheek.

 

“I love you too, sweetie.”

 

Taylor left with Daniel, and the room was silent for a few uncomfortable minutes, as grief hung heavy in the air.

 

“I think a lot of us have a story similar to Taylor’s,” Chunk finally spoke up. “Bull saw potential in us. He believed in us.”

 

“He steered us down a life path we weren’t expecting,” Marissa nodded in agreement.

 

“Gave us second chances,” Benny added.

 

“And new beginnings,” Danny chimed in.

 

“I don’t know if Jason ever realized the impact he made,” Benny observed, walking over to the older man’s bed. “He helped so many people. He changed so many lives. He helped reshape the course of justice for the better. And we all had the privilege of being a part of it.”

 

“It was more than just that,” Juliana observed, her voice small and shaky from crying. “He was a friend to all of you. A brother. A father.”

 

Juliana let out a sob, rubbing circles on her baby bump. “Jason was the love of my life. Even when he had a million things on his mind with work, he always made me feel like I was his world. He made Daniel and me a priority, as if we were already a family. I’ve never felt so loved before. And, apart from Daniel, I’ve never loved anyone so deeply before.”

 

Reaching out her hand to hold Jason’s, Juliana blinked her eyes closed, letting the tears fall. “But I know he’s just a body now. And I guess…I guess it’s time to let him go.”

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Dr. Morris asked, looking to Juliana.

 

 

 

“Not really. But I know this is what’s best for Jason.” Juliana replied softly, her voice hoarse and shaky from crying. “But…can I just have a minute with him?”

 


	14. Love Undying

“Hey, sweetie bear,” Juliana cooed, slipping Jason’s glasses onto his face. “It’s good to see you with your eyes open,” she said, pushing the button to raise Jason to a seated position. “I got your glasses fixed for you while you were sleeping, but they still might need to be adjusted after you get out of here.”  
  
Jason smiled gratefully, opening his mouth to speak.  But Dr. Morris quickly shushed him.  
  
“Jason, don’t try to talk right now,” Dr. Morris said gently. “You’ve been in a coma for a month and a half. Along with that, you were on life support. There was a tube that was placed down your throat and sat near your vocal cords. I can imagine your throat is a little dry and scratchy right now. For now, I want you to try and rest your voice for a little bit. We will try talking soon, I promise.”  
  
Jason nodded in understanding, taking a moment to get reacquainted with his body. A look of panic came over him as he bent forward, reaching clumsily for his legs. Looking up helplessly from Juliana to Dr. Morris, his breathing became erratic.  
  
“Shh…calm down,” Juliana said softly, running her fingers through Jason’s sandy brown hair. “Dr. Morris here will explain everything that’s happened to you.”  
  
“Jason, you were shot three times,” Dr. Morris explained. "Once in abdomen, once in the back and once in the chest. With the way the bullet hit you in the back, it paralyzed you from the waist down. We tried our best to not cause any more damage and give you back the use of your legs, but we couldn’t.”  
  
Jason just sat there, looking thoughtful. It was clear there was a storm of emotion brewing behind his eyes, and certainly many questions he would need answers to. It broke Juliana’s heart to see him like this. Jason was always so used to being in control. Now, he was completely powerless. He couldn’t even speak up to ask for the answers he needed.  
  
“If you have any questions, I’d be happy to give you a pen and paper so you can write them down,” Dr. Morris said helpfully.  
  
Jason continued to sit thoughtfully for a moment before looking up, turning his eyes towards the team, and waving clumsily.  
  
“Understood. We’ll get out of your hair,” Benny said kindly. He then turned to address  the rest of the team. “Come on, guys. Let’s go get something to eat.”  
  
With that, the team was out the door, turning to smile back at Jason as they left. Simply happy to see him alive.  
  
“All right, Jason.” Dr. Morris placed the tray table over Jason’s lap and put a pen and paper on it. “ ‘Talk’ to me.”  
  
Jason put his hand on the pen, fumbling to pick it up, but unable to get a grip on it.  
  
Jason looked to Dr. Morris with frustration, eyes glistening with unshed tears.  
  
“It’s okay,” Dr. Morris sighed, picking up the pen and paper. “You had two massive strokes. There was always the possibility you might need to relearn some things.  
  
Jason lifted his right hand, touching his mouth.  
  
“Yes,” Dr. Morris answered, guessing at Jason’s question. “Your speech might be affected as well. But there’s a chance you can get both that, and use of your hands back with therapy.”  
  
Jason looked tearfully to Juliana. She had never seen him look more sad and scared. It was absolutely heartbreaking.  
  
“I know this is a lot for you, Jason. I can’t begin to imagine what you must be feeling right now,” Juliana said sympathetically, placing a steadying hand on Jason’s shoulder. “But I’m still here, and I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to face this alone.”  
  
Jason smiled at Juliana, lovingly patting her cheek with his clumsy hand.  
  
“Is there anything else you’d like to know right now?” Dr. Morris asked, looking from Jason to Juliana. “Either of you?”  
  
Jason’s hand flopped over his crotch, as he looked to Dr. Morris with questioning eyes.  
  
“Do you want to know about using the bathroom?” Dr. Morris asked. “Or sexual function?”  
  
Jason lifted first one hand, then the other.  
  
“You’d like to know about both,” Dr. Morris guessed.  
  
Jason nodded.  
  
“Well as far as going to the bathroom, I’m sorry to say you’ve lost all control over your urination and defecation. As far as what your options are, we could either put you in diapers or insert a catheter. With a catheter, you run more of a risk of bladder stones and urinary tract infections. I would honestly suggest diapers just because it’s safer. You won’t get a UTI unless someone just doesn’t change you. But you will need someone with you at all times to be able to change your diaper if you need it.” Dr. Morris explained. “As for your sexual function, I think the days of having kids are over. It’s not uncommon for paralyzed men to have this problem. The chances of ever getting an erection again are very slim, and even if you did, it would be too soft or go down before you guys could do anything. Ordinarily, I would suggest ED pills. But you took a bullet to the heart, and have already experienced two heart attacks. If I put you on pills, the chances of you dying from a heart attack during sex would be high.” Dr. Morris looked briefly to Juliana, eyeing her baby bump before he turned back to Jason. “ I think you should both be grateful you were able to conceive twins before this happened.”  
  
Jason looked straight ahead, blinking furiously to hold back his tears as his bottom lip quivered.  
  
“I’ll give the two of you some time alone,” Dr. Morris said sympathetically, taking his leave.  
  
“Jason,” Juliana called softly to him, once they were alone. “Jason, please look at me.”  
  
Jason turned his gaze to Juliana, finally letting the tears fall. His expression was one of fear, uncertainty, grief and shame.

 

Juliana reached for Jason’s hand, lovingly rubbing her thumb across his knuckles.

  
“I know this isn’t fair,” she sighed. “You have every right to be upset. You have every right to grieve what was taken from you. And I wish I could offer you some words of comfort that could somehow take away the pain I know you’re feeling. But I know that’s not possible. “  
  
Swiping the tears from Jason’s reddened cheeks, Juliana smiled sadly as she stared into his watery green eyes. “But I thought I’d lost you today. Everyone said their goodbyes to you. But none of us really knew how we could go on without you. And it’s not about what you can or can’t do physically. It’s about how you make us feel, and how those close to you have all been made more whole, simply by having you in our lives.”  
  
Laughing at herself, Juliana squeezed Jason’s hand, while wiping away her tears with her free hand. “Sorry. I know I’m rambling. I’m just so glad you’re alive! I’m so glad our babies will have the chance to know you.”  
  
Jason smiled tearfully at Juliana, the partial paralysis on his face making it look like an adorable smirk. Wiggling his hand free from Juliana’s grip, he then placed it on her stomach.  
Though there was still a sadness in Jason’s eyes, there was now peace as well. Whatever limitations and challenges he would have to live with, Jason knew that he was loved.  
  
The promise of fatherhood gave him purpose, and a reason to push beyond his struggles and become stronger. And with Juliana at his side, Jason would never have to face these struggles alone.


	15. He Won't Be Left Alone

Benny watched Jason quietly from the doorway, heartbroken at the sight of his old friend.  
  
Jason - a man who was once a force of nature; confident, outspoken and bold - sat despondent, staring at a rerun of _“Law and Order”_ on the TV. But what else could the poor guy do at this point? It would take a lot of help and hard work for him to regain any sort of independence. And in his current state, it was clear he didn’t believe that would ever happen.  
  
“Hey,” Benny called softly, knocking on the doorway. “You up for some company?”  
  
Jason looked to Benny and nodded, motioning his friend inside.  
  
As Benny entered, approaching Jason’s bed, the older man looked to the door worriedly.  
  
“Juyee…nana?” Jason asked with effort.  
  
“Juliana is resting,” Benny answered, muting the television. “This pregnancy is taking a lot out of her. But she wanted me to tell you that Chunk will be giving her and Daniel a ride here later. _And_ they’re bringing dinner. No hospital food for you tonight, pal!”  
  
Jason smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. It was so hard for Benny to see the insecurity and worry on Jason’s face. But he knew that only time would be able to help Jason overcome these feelings.  
  
“So,” Benny began, taking a seat at the foot of Jason’s bed. “I hear they’re moving you to rehab tomorrow. You’ll have your own private room where Juliana and Daniel can come and see you any time you’re not in therapy. And just think; while you‘re in there, you’ll still get to go to Juliana’s doctor visits and check in on those beautiful twins of yours! I mean, I know it’s not home. But in six weeks you’ll be able to go home! And I bet it’ll only be a matter of weeks before you start to regain some independence.”  
  
Closing his eyes and tilting his head back onto the pillow, Jason made a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a cry.  
  
“What? You don’t believe me? Come on! You’re Jason Bull! You can do anything if you want it badly enough!”  
  
Jason stared at Benny, tapping himself on the legs.  
  
“Okay, maybe not everything,” Benny corrected himself. “But I have faith you’ll be able to hold those twins of yours and sing them lullabies.”  
  
“H-ho…so…” Jason said doubtfully.  
  
“I _know_ so,” Benny grinned. “And, I’ve been meaning to tell you something. Something that might put your mind at ease.”  
  
Jason looked at Benny, giving the “go on” motion with his hand.

“A few weeks before you woke up, we were able to ID the guy that shot you,” Benny informed Jason. “A man by the name of Zack Meeks.“  
  
At these words, Jason became very agitated, rocking back and forth. He voice came out in small grunts and quick breaths, as he struggled to communicate what he wanted to.  
  
“Hey.” Benny grabbed Jason gently by each arm to steady him. “We know about his connection to Juliana. And don’t worry. She has no idea who shot you. We told her it was just a case of wrong place, wrong time.”  
  
Jason breathed a sigh of relief, his body visibly relaxing. “Zah?” he inquired.  
  
“Zack Meeks shot himself in the head,” Benny answered. “With the same gun he used to shoot you.  According to his suicide note, he couldn’t live with the guilt of what he’d done to you. He was acting on the orders of a friend, and regretted it the moment he looked into your eyes when he shot you in the heart.”  
  
Jason closed his eyes, a pained expression on his face, and Benny knew what he must be thinking: Where is the justice? Why did the man who altered his life forever get the release of death, rather than having to face the consequences of his actions?  
  
Benny also knew that Jason would be even more upset by what he was about to hear. But within that dark revelation was a sliver of light. A bit of reassurance that, to some extent, justice had indeed been served.  

 

 “Jason, I know you didn’t want us looking into Juliana, and we didn’t mean for it to happen. But the man who ordered Zack to shoot you was David Lee…Juliana’s ex-husband.”  
  
Jason’s body tensed at the mention of that name, his face contorting into what was probably supposed to be an angry expression; the side affected by the strokes barely lifting.  
  
Benny reached for Jason’s hand, gently squeezing it in hopes of calming his friend.  
  
“Legally, Mr. Lee is forbidden from making contact with Juliana or Daniel. He lost his family and his freedom because of what he’d done to Juliana. But he was still trying to control her life and take away her happiness from prison,” Benny continued.  
  
Benny could see the pain, grief and anger on Jason’s face. He saw the way the older man’s body shook, barely able to contain the pain of all he had lost. All Benny wanted to do was comfort Jason and give him some hope. Maybe now, in some small way, he would get that chance.  
  
“But Jason? There is some justice in all of this. After it was revealed in the suicide note that Mr. Lee was the mastermind behind the shooting, we took it to the judge. He’s now forbidden from having any visitors or any contact with the outside world. He was placed in an isolation cell and doesn’t even have TV privileges anymore. The judge is also adding more time to his sentence. They are placing the charge of accessory to attempted murder on him. He’s never getting out, and will never hurt you or Juliana again!”  
  
A small half smile appeared on Jason’s face at this news, and his body visibly relaxed. “Safe,” he said softly.  
  
“Yeah, you are.” Benny confirmed. “David Lee is going to spend the rest of his life rotting in a cold cell, while you get to live out your days with the woman you love and your beautiful family.”  
  
Jason’s body sagged at these words, and he looked down into his lap sadly.  
  
“Juyee-nana...yeave me.”  
  
Benny sat upright at these words. “Jason, why would you say that? Why do you think she’s gonna leave you?”  
  
Jason lifted his gaze to look at Benny, worry and grief communicated clearly in his eyes.  
  
“Boo-den,” he answered, wincing at the sound of his own voice.  
  
“No…Jason, you’re _not_ a burden!” Benny reassured him. “No matter how you do in rehab, or how much help you might need in the future, no one will ever see you as one. As for Juliana, trust me, she’s not going anywhere!”  
  
Jason scoffed in disbelief.  
  
“It’s true!” Benny insisted. “I know things feel uncertain for you now. But Juliana’s love for you? That’s a sure thing! Please believe that.”  
  
Once again, Jason gave Benny a sad half smile. It was clear that he wanted to believe what Benny was telling him. He just didn’t have the confidence.  
  
“Hey.” Benny squeezed Jason’s hand. “I’m gonna go find someone to help you into your wheelchair. It’s a beautiful day, and I think some fresh air would do you good.”  
  
Jason gave Benny a questioning look. “Sss…ay?” he asked, obviously thankful for the company.  
  
“Heck yeah, I’m staying!” Benny grinned, standing up and giving Jason a quick hug. “It’s 2pm on a Sunday. I don’t have anywhere else to be.”


	16. Matters Of the Heart

“Everything all right?” Benny asked, watching Marissa move her vegetables around the plate with her fork.  
  
“Fine,” Marissa said unconvincingly, swallowing down her glass of wine.  
“You gonna drink that?” she then asked, reaching for Benny’s glass.  
  
“Help yourself,” Benny answered, waving his hand permissively.  
  
Marissa swallowed the wine in one gulp, nearly slamming the glass on the table as her eyes scanned the room, looking everywhere but at Benny.  
  
“Okay, you are most definitely  _not_  all right,” Benny observed, reaching out to take hold of Marissa’s hand. “What’s wrong?”  
  
Marissa sighed, looking at their entwined hands. “What are we doing, Benny? I mean, really. What is all… _this_?”  
  
“I’m not sure I like where this conversation is headed.” Benny frowned, pulling his hand away from Marissa’s “Marissa, are…are you breaking up with me?”  
  
“I…um…Greg is back in the country.” Marissa let out a sigh, her breath tight and heavy with emotion.

 

“Marissa…you can’t mean?” Benny said trying to keep his emotions in check.

 

 “I just think that maybe we got into this for the wrong reasons. Jason had just been shot when we started…this.  Juliana found out she was pregnant and might have to raise those kids without a father. On top of all that, the very future of TAC was a big question mark.”  
  
Marissa stopped to take a breath, eyes finally meeting Benny’s. “And then you almost drank yourself to death…I wasn’t sure if Greg was ever coming back. And I knew at that point I couldn’t lose you too. My point is, it was an emotional time. Maybe we turned to each other for the wrong kind of comfort.”  
  
“What are you trying to say?” Benny asked. “Are you saying all of this has been a lie? That we were just using each other as a distraction?”  
  
“No!” Marissa insisted. “Benny, I do love you. At least…I think I do. All I’m saying is maybe we should put the brakes on things for a while. Let me figure things out with Greg. Let’s revisit this relationship once things have calmed down. And if the spark is still there, we’ll know it’s right.”  
  
Benny just stared at Marissa; eyes watery with unshed tears, nostrils flared, lips pursed. A heartbreaking combination of hurt and anger. Marissa felt terribly about hurting Benny like this. But something in her heart told her this was for the best. She only hoped that they could go back to being friends again.  
  
The ringing of Benny’s phone broke the uncomfortable silence. Looking down briefly at the display, he answered, eyes fixed on Marissa.  
  
“Hey, Jason. How ya feeling, pal?...Sure. I can be there in 20 minutes…Okay. See you soon.”  
  
Hanging up, Benny stood, pulling out his wallet and slamming a couple 20 dollar bills on the table. “Here. I don’t wanna owe you anything.”  
  
“Benny!” Marissa cried out tearfully. “I didn’t mean…”  
  
“Jason needs me,” Benny cut the older woman off. “And honestly, I can’t be near you right now. Enjoy your meal. I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
  
And with that, Benny stormed off.  
  
Watching Benny walk away, Marissa wanted to run after him, engulf him in a hug and feel his lips on hers just one more time. She knew that she had hurt him, and that was the last thing she ever wanted to do. The fact that Benny didn’t want to owe her anything was heartbreaking. They were flowing along smoothly, and she just had to go and hit the brakes. Was this really for the best? Or was it a form of self sabotage? Was Greg really worth hurting Benny over? Was it just she was lonely and needed someone warm in her bed to comfort her while dealing with the uncertain?  

 

“Oh, Marissa. What have you done?” She whispered to herself. 

 

“Ma’am would you like some more wine?” The waiter asked, jolting Marissa out of her thoughts.

 

“Oh! Yes, please,” Marissa answered, holding her glass up as the waiter poured.

 

“And your friend…will he be wanting more?” The waiter politely inquired.

 

“No. He’s gone,” Marissa sighed.

 

 _“Not just gone from dinner, but gone from my life,”_  she thought.  _“We’re nothing more than coworkers now.”_

 

Though Benny had told Marissa to enjoy her dinner, she’d lost her appetite.  
  
 _BullBullBullBullBull_

 

Benny arrived at the rehab center and quickly made his way to the bathroom. There was no way he was going to let Jason see him like this. He splashed some water on his face and looked in the mirror at his red eyes. He had cried the whole way from dinner to the center. How could one woman break your heart into a million pieces like that? Yes, they had been through a lot. He knew it could end, he knew she was still a married woman. But in his mind, all this had brought them closer together. Boy, was he wrong. She had made her decision and he was on the losing end of the stick.

 

Benny quickly got signed in and started down the long, winding hallway to Jason’s unit. The rehab center was huge, being tailored to many different things, such as recovering from car accidents, illness, strokes, and disabilities. Jason’s unit was mainly for stroke victims, though his therapy was for people with disabilities as well. They put him in the stroke unit to keep a better eye on him medically.

 

Benny walked through the stroke unit’s double doors and made his way to the nurse’s station.

 

“I’m Benjamin Colon, here to see Dr. Jason Bull,” Benny announced  
  
A tall young man with curly brown hair looked up from his clipboard, smiling at Benny.

 

“Yes, I helped Jason call you earlier,” he smiled. “I’m Matt, Jason’s nurse for the night.”  
  
Matt stepped out from behind the nurse’s station, motioning Benny to follow him. “If you like, I can get him out of bed so you can visit in our sitting room.”  
  
“Sounds good,” Benny nodded agreeably.  
  
“You can wait here if you want to,” Matt suggested. “Or you could stand at the door while I get him ready.”

 

“I’ll wait here by the door,” Benny decided, leaning against the doorway.    
  
“Okay,” Matt nodded, making his way to Jason’s bed.

 

“Dr. Bull? There’s someone here to see you. Let’s get you up so you can go visit,” Matt called to Jason.

 

Benny could tell that Jason was smiling as best he could, even if it did look more like a half smirk.

 

Matt brought over a lift system. Jason was lying on what looked like a mesh net with straps that Matt hooked up to it. As he started it up, Jason was momentarily suspended in the air before Matt let him down easily into his manual wheelchair.  
  
It was so hard for Benny to see a once strong and vibrant man look so weak and helpless in a wheelchair he couldn’t even operate.

 

Matt positioned Jason’s feet on the foot rests and his arms on the arm rests before heading towards the door.

 

“I just changed his diaper a few minutes ago, so he should be good to go for a while,” Matt whispered to Benny.

 

“Thank you,” Benny choked out. He never thought he would see the day that Jason Bull would need diapers.

 

Matt positioned Jason’s glasses on his face, and his eyes lit up at seeing Benny in the doorway.

 

“Beh-nee” Jason smirked.

 

“Hey there, buddy,” Benny greeted, patting Jason’s shoulder.

 

Benny walked alongside Matt, as he pushed Jason in his wheelchair down to the open sitting area. Benny took his seat on a comfy black couch while Matt positioned Jason in front him.

 

“If you need anything, Jason, let us know,” Matt said warmly.  
  
Jason nodded his head in response.  
  
 “Okay, have a nice visit,” Matt grinned, taking his leave.  
  
“So,” Benny began, leaning forward. “How was your day?”  
  
“Ter-bee,” Jason answered. “Ter-bee…har. Fuss-tay.”  
  
“I know therapy is hard,” Benny acknowledged sympathetically. “And I know you get frustrated. Just be patient with yourself. You’ll get there.”

 

Jason smirked appreciatively at Benny’s words, a look of determination in his eyes. Benny found this look reassuring. After everything that had happened to him, Jason wasn’t about to give up on himself.  
  
“Beh-nee?” Jason called, pulling Benny out of his musings. “You have ‘ing?”  
  
Benny waited a moment to see if Jason was going to say anything more. When it was clear that he wasn’t, Benny finally responded.  
  
“Am I having what, Jason?”  
  
“No!” Jason yelled out in frustration, hitting his left hand repeatedly with his right. “Ing! You have ‘ing?”  
  
“Whoa!” Benny grabbed Jason by the wrists so he would stop hurting himself. “Are you asking about the engagement ring you were going to give Juliana? Yes, it’s in your desk at TAC.”  
  
Jason’s body relaxed, slumping back in his wheelchair as he smirked, delighted that he had been understood. “Wan’ pop-ose,” he confirmed with a nod.  
  
“You want to propose to Juliana? That’s great!” Benny exclaimed. “Congratulations!”  
  
“Might not say yes,” Jason pointed out, frowning slightly.  
  
“Oh, she’ll say yes!” Benny chuckled. “If there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s how much that woman loves you!”  
  
Jason’s eyes lit up, his half smile growing at Benny’s reassuring words.  
  
“I’ll bring Juliana by around lunch time tomorrow and you can pop the question then. How does that sound?”  
  
“Yeah.” Jason nodded, his body shaking in nervous excitement.  
  
“Hey.” Benny reached out, squeezing Jason’s shoulders to steady him. “She’ll say yes!”  
  
Jason let out a sound that could only be described as a happy whimper, reaching out his right arm to hug Benny. His left arm, meanwhile, hung weakly; shaking, but never lifting.  
  
Following Jason’s lead, Benny leaned in, hugging the older man. “You’re very lucky to have each other.”  
  
Though Benny’s heartbreak over Marissa was still painfully fresh, he felt comfort, and a sense of hope, knowing that Jason had found this amazing, enduring love with Juliana.  
  
Benny would choose Jason’s happiness over his own any day.


	17. Still the Man I Fell In Love With

Jason lie in his hospital bed at the rehab center, staring at the flat screen TV. Not much was on at this time of the day, but anything for noise was better than nothing at all.  
  
Getting lost in his thoughts, Jason recalled the night of the shooting, and how happy he had been that he was going to make Juliana officially his. At that time, he was able to walk. He could take care of himself, and be the man Juliana needed. Her protector.  
  
Now, Jason couldn’t feed himself, he couldn’t walk, his speech was no better than that of a toddler, and he’d never be able to make love to Juliana again. To make matters worse, he was now in diapers.  
  
Jason wanted desperately to propose to Juliana, but worried he would just be weighing her down with a burden. How could he possibly take care of their family, when he couldn't even take care of himself? The worry and stress caused a massive headache that Jason couldn’t seem to shake. He became very unfocused, only vaguely aware that a nurse was coming in to help get him around for the day.  
  
 _BullBullBullBullBull_

 

“Dr. Bull, it’s time to get up,” Jason’s morning nurse, Sandra said, pushing the lift system into Jason’s room.

 

Jason slowly turned his head toward the sound of Sandra’s voice, looking at her with glassy eyes.  
  
Sandra could tell something was wrong. Jason was unnaturally pale, and not responding in the fashion she had become accustomed to, which was at least a half smile or a "hi."

 

“Jason, Juliana, Benny and Chunk will be here shortly. We need to get you up and changed before they get here,” Sandra said tentatively. She knew that Jason and his friends shared a very special bond. And Jason’s love for Juliana was amazing, and seemed to grow right along with her pregnant belly; getting bigger and bigger every day.

 

When Jason didn’t respond to these words about the love of his life and close friends coming to see him, Sandra immediately knew something was wrong.

 

“Jason, you feeling all right?” she asked, patting Jason’s shoulder.

 

Almost as if Jason was answering the question, his eyes rolled back in his head and he started convulsing. All the while, Jason's bowels let loose; diarrhea messing his body, pajamas and sheets.  
  
Without missing a beat, Sandra quickly hit the code button.

 

“I need some help in here!” Sandra yelled, rolling Jason to one side.

 

Nurses soon flooded Jason’s room and administered Valium to break his seizure.

 

“You’re okay, Jason,” Sandra soothed, as Jason started coming out of his seizure.  
  
 _BullBullBullBullBull_  
  
Jason slowly came back into awareness; his eyes so heavy he could barely open them.  
  
He felt terrified, surrounded by nurses attending to him. Something serious must have happened. All he knew was that he was feeling very uncomfortable, and the air in his room had a foul smell.  
  
That's when the truth hit him.

 

To Jason’s dismay, during his seizure he had diarrhea and filled his diaper, and it went all over his sheets and clothes.

 

“Jason, I am going to get you out of these dirty clothes and change your sheets. I also want to get you in the shower. You want to be smelling good for when Juliana gets here,” Sandra said as she used the lift to get Jason into a shower chair.

 

Jason didn’t respond. He just sat there and let the tears flow down his face. He had lost all control of his body and pooped all over himself _. "It doesn’t get much more embarrassing than this,"_ he thought.  
  
 _BullBullBullBullBull_

 

Benny entered the rehab center, Chunk and Juliana close behind him. Looking back at the pregnant woman as she waddled through the door, he felt an excited flutter in his heart, knowing that, within the next hour, Jason and Juliana would be engaged. Benny smiled to himself. If ever there was such a thing as a "perfect match," they were it!  
  
Entering the stroke unit, a tall young woman with an athletic build and blond hair pulled back in a ponytail approached them.  _"Sandra,"_ Benny thought to himself with a smile. He was getting to know all of the staff by name by this point, and was so thankful they were taking such great care of his boss and best friend.  
  
"Good morning," Sandra greeted, smiling at Benny, Chunk and Juliana in turn. Her smile widened a little as her eyes rested on Juliana's prominent bump. "Wow! You look like you're ready to pop!" she exclaimed. "But I know that can't be right. How far along are you?"  
  
"16 weeks," Juliana sighed, rubbing circles on her belly. "I didn't expect to be so big this early on. Maybe it's because Jason is such a big guy. Or maybe it's because I'm carrying twins."  
  
"Little mama, I'm sure you've got at least one more baby hiding out in there!" Chunk exclaimed.  
  
"Don't even joke about that!" Juliana groaned.  
  
"I'm completely serious!"  
  
Sandra laughed. "Well, I just wanted to tell you something before you go in to see Jason."  
  
"Is he all right?" Benny asked, concerned.  
  
"Yes, he's fine. But he did have a seizure this morning. Like I said, he’s okay. Just a little embarrassed because he had diarrhea and got it all over himself. I’m hoping seeing you guys will brighten his day. But I wanted to prepare you, just in case he's a little moodier than usual today.”

  
  
"Thank you for letting us know," Juliana said quietly.

 

“I also have a question for you guys. Does the word ‘Cable’ mean anything to Jason?” Sandra asked.

 

Juliana looked at Chunk and Benny. She had never heard Jason mention anything about a Cable.

 

Chunk sighed and looked down sadly.

 

“Cable…” Benny said sadly, remembering the young, bright hacker that used to bring a smile to TAC. “Yes, it does. Cable was one of the employees at TAC, she was our cyber guru. She was like a daughter to Jason. Sadly, though we lost her a few years back. She was heading back to the city when the bridge collapsed. That’s how we got Taylor. She helped us get justice for Cable.”

 

Juliana was taken back. She wondered why Jason had never told her about this young girl that apparently meant so much to him.

 

“During Jason’s sessions with our psychologist he has revealed that he saw Cable while he was in the coma.” Sandra explained.

 

“I wonder if he saw Cable when he was removed from life support and died briefly?” Chunk mused.

 

“In time, I am sure he will tell us.” Juliana smiled. She wanted to know more as well.

 

 The trio followed Sandra to Jason's room.  
  
Smiling sympathetically at Juliana, Benny put a comforting arm around her as they walked. He knew how hard it must be for her to see the father of her unborn children suffer like this, and be powerless to help him.  
  
Entering Jason's room, they found him sitting upright in his bed, staring at his laptop, which sat propped up on a tray table.  
  
"Jason," Sandra said warmly. "You've got some visitors."  
  
Jason looked up for just a moment, eyes watery with sadness and shame. He then quickly turned his gaze downward.  
  
"Go," Jason nearly whispered. "Go 'way."  
  
Juliana looked hurt for just a moment. Then, closing her eyes and taking a few controlled deep breaths, her face became a mask of determination.  
  
"No," she said firmly, slowly making her way to Jason's bed. "I'm not going anywhere."  
  
"Why?" Jason asked, eyed filled with confusion. "You need better den me. Dan-el an' babies need better."  
  
"These babies are going to need their dad," Juliana corrected him. "Daniel needs his dad. And as far as we're concerned, that's  _you_! As for me, I can't imagine a life without you in it!"  
  
"I not...da man you feh in yuv wit. B-boken now."  
  
Juliana sighed loudly, reaching for Jason's hand. "Jason, you are  _not_  broken! Sure, there are some things you struggle with now. There are things you can't do anymore. But you know what? None of those things are why I fell in love with you. I fell in love with a man who's kind, loving, determined, and finds hope in hopeless situations. And as far as I can see, none of that has changed!"  
  
Juliana placed a hand on Jason's laptop. "I know you go online, trying to keep up with all that's going on in the legal world, because that passion for trial science is still there. And I hear your speech getting a little clearer, every time I talk to you. So I know you're working hard in therapy."  
  
Slowly lifting Jason's hand, Juliana placed a soft kiss on it. "And as much as you try and push me away, I can clearly see the love in your eyes. So yes! You  _are_  the man I fell in love with, in every way that matters!"  
  
Jason smirked up at Juliana, and she could see in his eyes that believed every word she said. Even after two massive strokes, Jason was still an expert at reading people when it counted.  
  
Benny and Chunk exchanged a look, moved by the sight before them. No one could calm Jason quite like Juliana. And Benny was convinced that Jason survived being shot only for the sake of Juliana and their family.  
  
"Keeping what Juliana just told you in mind, is there something you'd like to ask her?" Benny asked, fiddling with the ring in his pocket.  
  
Jason looked from Benny to Juliana, the loving gentleness in the younger woman’s eyes seeming to erase his insecurity.  
  
Looking once again at Benny, Jason nodded with a half smirk.  
  
“Okay, Juliana,” Benny said with a grin, positioning the easy chair they had brought in for the pregnant woman so that it was facing in the same direction as Jason. “Take a seat.”  
  
Looking a little confused, Juliana simply nodded agreeably.  
  
While Benny was helping Juliana get seated, Jason turned to address Sandra. “Whee-tair?” he requested.  
  
“Of course.” Sandra smiled knowingly, hooking up the lift system to get Jason into his wheelchair.  
  
While this was happening, Benny moved back to stand next to Chunk, peering over at the phone in the taller man’s hand.”  
  
“You filming this?” Benny whispered.  
  
“Oh yeah,” Chunk whispered back with a grin. “Thanks for letting me be a part of it.”  
   
  
Once Jason was settled in his wheelchair, Sandra positioned him in front of Juliana.  
  
Smirking at Juliana through watery eyes, Jason took her clumsily by the hands.  
  
“Before you…I tought I would…aways be…ayone. I nebah knew I could be happy. Nebah tought I could have fam-yee. But you…you gis me so muss to be happy about. I yuv you, Juyee-nana. Wid aww my heart.”  
  
With those words, Jason looked over at Benny. The younger man quickly stepped over in response, taking the box with the ring out of his coat pocket and opening it before placing it in Jason’s open hand.  
  
Jason held the ring in front of Juliana with his shaking hand, Benny holding his own hand underneath to offer support.  
  
Juliana’s eyes teared up, her mouth gaping open at the site of the ring. It was a ruby (the birthstone she and Jason shared) surrounded by diamonds. A stunning piece, custom designed for Juliana.  
  
“Juyee-nana…you ma-ree me?”  
  
“Yes!” Juliana shrieked, almost before Jason had finished asking the question. “Of course I’ll marry you, Jason!”  
  
Jason smiled, looking relieved, as Benny took the ring out of the small box and helped Jason place it on Juliana’s tiny finger. Though nearly 50, and a survivor of two heart attacks and two strokes, the light in his eyes at this moment made him look years younger.  
  
Stepping back, Benny gave the happy couple some space.  
  
“You get all that?” Benny asked, eyeing Chunk’s phone.  
  
“Sure did,” Chunk whispered in confirmation. “I can’t wait to show this to Daniel. That little man is going to be so happy!”  
  
 _“He’s not the only one,”_  Benny thought, looking on in amusement as Jason and Juliana awkwardly attempted a kiss, his physical limitations and her pregnant belly making the task a bit more challenging than it would normally be.  
  
After all that they had overcome together, the love between Jason and Juliana had sustained them. And Benny knew that, whatever future challenges life might throw their way, that love would continue to be their strength.  
  
Their love story was truly one of the most inspiring things Benny had ever witnessed!


	18. Back To the Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the events of the Bull season 2 finale, I went back and edited earlier chapters, stating that the heart attack Jason suffers in this story is his second. I'm counting the one he had in the finale as the first. This story is going to stick as close to canon as possible, and takes places a few years in the future.

Jason had been in rehab for 8 weeks, requiring a little more time than had been originally estimated. But the progress he had made was all the proof needed that it was time well spent.

 

Jason could now feed himself a few bites at a time, using special utensils for people with disabilities. He could also aid in his own personal care by brushing his hair and washing his hands. And he could use his iPad with minimal assistance.

 

As for Jason's speech, it was mostly clear now. He now sounded more like an adult than a babbling toddler. Though he still struggled to find his words sometimes, and he had trouble forming the "l", "sh", "ch" and "th" sounds.

 

But despite all of his physical progress, Jason still had a long way to go emotionally. He had reluctantly agreed to work with a therapist, but was hesitant to open up about the trauma of the night he was shot.

 

Still, when Juliana and Benny had checked him out of rehab for the day, Jason was insistent on returning to TAC, to check in on his team and see how things were running in his absence. Like a worried parent checking in with the sitter.

 

Juliana watched Jason's face, as Benny pushed him in his wheelchair towards the entrance to the TAC building. She could tell he was trying to be strong as they approached the spot where it all happened. That space on the cement in front of the big glass doors where Jason was shot. But his eyes widened in fear, and his lips trembled the closer they got.

 

"You okay, sweetie bear?" Juliana inquired, placing a comforting hand on Jason's shoulder. "You sure you want to do this?"

 

Jason nodded, staring straight ahead with glassy eyes. "I'm fine," he sighed." I want to do dis."

 

"Okay," Juliana said, giving Jason's shoulder a loving squeeze. She was proud of him, but also very worried for him. But she wasn't about to stop Jason from returning to TAC. He needed to know she believed in him.

 

But as Jason's wheelchair rolled over the spot where, just months ago, he lie bleeding to death, something in him changed. Jason's eyes rolled back in his head and his body shook violently in his chair. Afraid that he might fall out and hurt himself, Benny tried with all his might to keep Jason in the chair by stepping in front of him and hanging on to his shoulders. Had it not been the exact spot Jason nearly bled to death, Benny would have taken Jason out of his chair, placed him on the ground on his side so he wouldn't start choking and placed his jacket under his head. Instead, he allowed Jason to stay in his chair. He didn't want Jason waking up to the nightmare of lying where he almost died.

 

"Benny, is he okay?" Juliana worried, rubbing her belly.

 

"I think he will be. It's just the stress of coming back to the exact spot of such a traumatic event. It caused a seizure." Benny explained.

 

People on the street walking past TAC looked at Benny like he was shaking a disabled man. But no one stopped to see what was wrong, or ask if there was anything they could do to help.

 

Just about the time Benny was starting to worry about the length of Jason's seizure, Jason started coming around, his eyes still a little unfocused. He looked tired, wincing uncomfortably.

 

"I have…headache," Jason groaned, looking up into Juliana's eyes.

 

"I can see why. You just had a seizure," Juliana said placing a loving hand on Jason's shoulder. "You gave us quite a scare!"

 

"Come on, let's get inside," Benny urged, most likely wanting to move forward before Jason realized he was sitting in the exact spot where he was shot. It had been months since the shooting, and the pool of blood had since been cleared from the sidewalk for the most part. But you could still see a faint stain of Jason's blood if you knew what you were looking for. A chilling reminder of how they had almost lost Jason that night. As if seeing Jason, broken and struggling, weren't reminder enough. Once inside, Benny pushed Jason to a corner out of the way, Juliana waddling slowly at their side.

 

"You sure you want to do this, Bull?" Benny asked, moving to stand in front of Jason. "You sure you're ready?"

 

Jason nodded, eyes filled with a fierce determination. "Da man who sot me…he took enough from me. I won't yet him take TAC."

 

Juliana smiled, tearing up as her heart swelled with pride for the man she loved.

 

"Okay, sweetie," she said softly, smiling. "Let's go on up."

 

_BullBullBullBullBull_

 

Jason took a controlled deep breath as Benny wheeled him into the elevator. It was like he was living the night he was shot in reverse. Too bad he couldn't magically repair his body and mind once he'd entered the building, truly reversing what had been done to him.

 

Looking over at Juliana, belly swollen with their twins, Jason knew that he needed to be strong. He had a family to think of now, and no matter how scared or frustrated he might feel, he couldn't let the love of his life and mother of his children see it.

 

"Jason," Benny called to him as the elevator started up. "As you can imagine, with you gone for so long, we had to get a little extra help. And since you – "

 

"It's okay," Jason insisted, holding up his right hand to shush Benny. "You did what you had…had to…to keep TAC afyoat."

 

Jason smirked knowingly to himself as the elevator doors slid open. He had accepted weeks ago that he was going to have to give over a little control in his work. His mind wasn't what it used to be, and it didn't always communicate with his body the way it should. But if the team had sought help from the person he was thinking of, Jason knew that TAC was in good hands.

 

As the trio exited the elevator, Marissa and Taylor was there to greet them.

 

"It's good to have you back, Dr. Bull," Taylor said with a smile. "Even if it is just for a day."

 

"Tank you." Jason smiled up at her. "It feews yike I've come home."

 

Marissa chuckled softly. "Come on. Let's get you settled in your office so you can be brought up to speed."

 

Jason looked around TAC as Benny pushed him, feeling extremely self conscious.

 

"Welcome back, Dr. Bull!" Danny smiled, teary eyed, as they passed by the monitors.

 

"Good to see you back here!" Chunk greeted with a big grin.

 

Jason smiled in reply, having an easier time facing these members of his team, who had been there to support him every day since the shooting, than he would the employees he didn't know as well. Those seeing him now for the first time in months.

 

Many of the TAC employees looked at Jason with pity and sorrow. Just a few short months ago they had almost lost the big guy and now, even though he was 'back', he was nowhere close to the boss they once had. As Marissa opened the door to Jason's office, it finally hit him; he was back at the beginning. The starting point. The place he had been before he went downstairs that night and was shot.

 

As Benny pushed Jason into the office, Jason realized his team had redone it to accommodate him. The big, comfy couch that he and Juliana loved to snuggle up on was still there, but that was about the only thing that remained the same. The big desk that he loved so much was no longer in his office. Instead, the team had gotten him a smaller desk made of mahogany that didn't take up as much space, so he had more room to maneuver his wheelchair around in his office. Benny pushed Jason behind his new desk, and Jason took in the feel of his office. On his desk was the familiar photo of Juliana, Daniel and himself. There was also a new frame next to it that caught his attention. It was yellow, and had a baby rattle in the lower left hand corner.

 

"What…dat?" Jason asked, trying his best to point.

 

"That, my friend, is where the picture of your twins is going to go after they are born." Benny smiled as he looked to Juliana, who was instinctively rubbing her belly.

 

"We also made accommodations so that you can still go into the mock trial room. We've built a ramp so you can easily go down to it," Marissa chimed in.

 

"Tank you." Jason smiled up thankfully, looking at everyone in turn, when a familiar figure standing in the doorway caught his eye.

 

"Arti Cander!" Jason greeted. "Come on in!"

 

Arti smiled, entering Jason's office. "It's good to see you again, Dr. Bull. I'm just sorry it had to be under these circumstances."

 

"Tank you for…for aww your hewp." Jason nodded appreciatively.

 

"Of course. I'm happy to fill in for as long as you need me," Arti replied. "Of course, I respect that TAC is your company, and whenever you're ready to come back full time, I will take my leave without protest."

 

Jason looked thoughtfully at his former court adversary; now the person to step in and save his trial science company during his long and ongoing recovery.

 

"Ac-too-yee, I have half a mind to yet you stay," Jason smirked. "Weww…I onyee have…half a mind. So I need you to stay. If…if you want to, dat is."

 

"Are you offering me a permanent position here at TAC?" Arti asked, her smile widening.

 

"Two t-t…rial scientists are better den one," Jason said in response, as he felt the tears well up in his eyes.

 

Looking around his office, Jason saw Juliana, Benny and Marissa smiling proudly at him. Arti, meanwhile, looked on with nothing but respect and admiration for Jason and the company he had built.

 

Jason blinked back the tears he felt welling up in his eyes; surrounded by people who not only wished to see him return to the job he loved, but clearly believed that he could.

 

Maybe he wasn't so useless after all.


	19. A Future Both Beautiful and Terrifying

Juliana pushed the button at the entrance to the OBGYN, watching the door swing open.  As Chunk wheeled Jason in, Juliana followed close behind them, and the trio was soon settled in an quiet corner of the nearly empty waiting room; Chunk positioning Jason so he was facing Juliana  
  
This was an exciting moment. Not only was it Jason’s first time accompanying Juliana to an appointment, it was also the day they would be finding out the gender – or genders – of their twins!  
  
  
“How are you feewing?” Jason asked, lightly rubbing Juliana’s belly.  
  
“Tired, sore, huge...” Juliana laughed. “But mostly happy. I’m glad you can be here with me today.”  
  
“Me too,” Jason smirked.  
  
“Juliana?” A nurse called from the open doorway leading into the exam rooms.  
  
“Hey,” Juliana waved, as the nurse came over and helped her up.  
  
Jason looked on sympathetically. It looked like these twins were going to end up being huge! Juliana was only halfway through her pregnancy, and she was already having so much trouble getting up and around.  
  
Jason sighed sadly. He wished that he could be the one helping Juliana out.  
  
“Hello! You must be dad,” the nurse greeted Jason warmly.  
  
Jason nodded.  
  
“I’m Katie. It’s nice to finally meet you.” She smiled, holding the door open for first Juliana, then Jason and Chunk.  
  
“You gentlemen go wait in exam room 3. And Juliana?” Katie grinned, holding up a cup and handing it to the pregnant woman. “You know the drill.”  
  
“Oh yay! My favorite part!” Juliana said sarcastically, taking the cup and heading to the bathroom.

 

Chunk rolled Jason into the exam room, locking Jason’s wheelchair into place before taking a seat next to him.  
  
Looking around the room at posters of happy babies, the exam table, and the monitor where he would soon be seeing his little ones wiggling around, Jason felt overwhelmed with an indescribable joy.  
  
“I awways wanted a famyee,” Jason choked out. “I awways wanted to be a dad. But when Izzy had her miscarriage, and den we divorced…I tought ‘dere’s no way it wiww happen now. I’ve yost my tance.’ But now…wid Juyee-nana…”  
  
Chunk smiled over at Jason, squeezing his hand. “You’re a very lucky man, Jason Bull.”  
  
“Don’t I know it!” Jason smirked at Chunk through happy tears.  
  
Just then, the door clicked open, and Juliana came in, aided by a woman in a white lab coat.  
  
“Hey, Jason. I’m Dr. Fredrick,” the woman introduced herself. “Glad you could be with us today.”  
  
“Tanks,” Jason smirked, watching the doctor help Juliana onto the exam table. “Me too.”

 

As Juliana laid back and Dr. Fredrick pulled up her shirt, exposing her swollen belly, Jason felt overwhelmed with love for the woman.  Seeing her bursting with life – life that the two of them created together – seemed unreal. This couldn’t be his life. This amazing woman couldn’t possibly be carrying his twins. And yet, she was! And Jason thought she had never looked more beautiful!  
  
Dr. Fredrick squeezed some gel onto Juliana’s belly and started moving the Doppler around. And as she did so, Jason could hear the thump of strong heartbeats, accompanied by the image of his two little ones on the  monitor.  
  
_“They already look like babies!”_ Jason thought, marveling at the miracle. Though Juliana’s pregnancy was halfway over, and she seemed to get bigger every time he saw her, for some reason, it wasn’t until this moment that it really hit him: he was going to be a dad!

“Congratulations!” Dr. Fredrick grinned, staring at the monitor. “You’ve got two little girls on the way!”  
  
Jason and Juliana locked eyes, tearfully smiling at one another. Their babies’ identities solidified with this new knowledge, the future somehow felt more certain. Their family, more clearly defined.  
  
“Daddy’s yittoo goos,” Jason whispered. If they were anything like their mother, they would be strong, resilient, and amazing souls!

 

Dr. Fredrick handed Juliana a towel to wipe off the rest of the gel from her belly. She then helped Juliana up and off the table, before sending her out to make her next appointment.

 

“I hope the goos yook yike  deir mom,” Jason commented with a self deprecating smirk.

 

“They are part Bull and part Juliana. Those girls are going  to be gorgeous!” Chunk insisted, patting Jason on the shoulder before wheeling him out behind Juliana.

 

Chunk helped Juliana into the car, then picked Jason up and placed him in the car, while the driver put the wheelchair in the trunk.

 

The group settled in for the ride back to the rehab center. Juliana’s pride and joy over finding out she was carrying twin girls was diminished by the sadness of knowing she couldn’t celebrate the news with Jason. Instead, they would have to take him back to the rehab center and leave him there.

 

Jason had his own worries. He would be released from rehab soon, but there was no way Juliana would be able to take care of him in her state.  
  
Eyeing Jason with concern, Juliana could tell something was on his mind as he stared out the window with tears in his eyes.

 

“What’s wrong?” Juliana asked, placing her hand over Jason’s.

 

Jason tried to mask the fact that he was crying, but it was no use, as a traitorous tear fell down his cheek. “Don’t know what I’m going to do.”

 

“About what, sweetheart?”

 

“I can’t go back to my apartment. I mean, yook at me. I can’t walk. I can’t take care of mysewf… I can’t even operate my own whee-tair. Now we have baby goos on da way…if not for dat, I could stiww sweep in my office. But you and da kids need me. Even if I won’t be much hewp.”  
  
Jason wiped his eyes with the ball of his good hand. There was no use fighting the tears anymore. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t stop them.  
  
“ I guess I’m worried about what’s going to happen to me…to us. Right now, I have nursing staff to take care of me. But once I’m reyeased, I have no one.” Jason explained, sniffling.

 

“You have me…” Juliana told Jason, patting his hand.

 

“Don’t take dis da wrong way, but you can’t take care of me. You’re carrying our yittoo goos. Pyus, even if you weren’t pregnant, it wouldn’t be fair for you to have to take care of me aww da time. I don’t have a yive-in nurse yined up yet…and I doubt I wiww by next week,” Jason said defeatedly, before falling silent and staring sadly out the window.

 

Juliana, too, looked out the window, taking in their unfamiliar surroundings. They were off their route back to the rehab center. Instead, they were in a nice neighborhood, not far from Central Park.

 

“Jason, I think you need to fire our driver…I’m pretty sure he’s lost.” Juliana joked nervously.

 

Jason shared a perplexed look with Juliana. He, too, didn’t recognize their surroundings.

 

Chunk turned in his seat, smiling at the two of them.

 

“About that…well, about everything you were just talking about...There’s one more stop we need to make before I take you back to rehab,” Chunk informed the couple with a knowing grin.


	20. Hopeful and Blessed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long between updates. I've been struggling with the worst kind of depression, and it's been hard to work up the energy or motivation to accomplish much of anything. But I'm doing better now, and seem to have gotten my writing mojo back. Hopefully, it stays this way.
> 
> Also, I've gone back and made some changes to earlier chapters. I want to keep this story as canon compliant as possible. (It takes place a few years in the future.) And since Annabelle Attanasio won't be returning as Cable, I removed her from some chapters, and changed or explained her presence in others. She's still part of the story, and has come back for important reasons, but she's not part of the team anymore. So you might want to go back and re-read the story from the beginning, so things make more sense.
> 
> Thank for your patience. And thank you, also, to my co-author, the Sleepy Producer, for her patience and understanding.
> 
> ~ The Peachy Monkey  
> This chapter will be Jason's first time seeing Cable since before he was shot.

Jason’s driver stopped in front of a tall building on 5th avenue.

 

 

 

“Chunk, this isn’t the center. Where are we?” Juliana asked.

 

 

 

“This is a part of your surprise!” Chunk smiled.

 

 

 

He got out of the car, went around to open Juliana’s car door and helped the pregnant woman out. He then went to the trunk, pulling out the wheelchair before picking Jason up out of the car.

 

 

 

“It’s big!” Jason smiled.

 

 

 

“You haven’t seen anything yet!” Chunk grinned, gently lowering Jason into the wheelchair.

 

 

 

The trio crossed marble floors to an elevator. They were lifted to the 22nd floor. Just as the doors opened Chunk smiled, watching his friends eyes widen in amazement.

 

 

 

“Welcome to your new home!” Chunk exclaimed, as he pushed Jason’s wheelchair out of the elevator.

 

 

 

“Oh my gosh, it’s beautiful!” Juliana exclaimed in awe.

 

 

 

“You’ll be happy to know it has five bedrooms and six bathrooms. And you have 3 floors all to yourselves!” Chunk explained.

 

 

 

“Why five bedrooms?” Jason asked.

 

 

 

“You and Juliana’s room, Daniel would get his own room, the twins nursery, a room for your live-in nurse and then an extra room for if you have company over.” Chunk smiled warmly.

 

 

 

Juliana looked around the penthouse, awestruck. “This is amazing,” she gasped.

 

 

 

“Now, how muss is dis going to run me?” Jason chuckled.

 

 

 

“Don’t worry about that. We paid for it in full. The team along with all the TAC employees chipped in as a way to help out our boss and friend who has done so much for us.” Chunk smiled warmly.

 

 

 

A half smile spread across Jason’s face.

 

 

 

“Tank you so muss…and teww everyone at TAC tank you. Dis means more den you know.” Jason expressed.

 

 

 

Chunk took them through each floor of their new home. There was a staircase going all the way up, but thankfully for Jason, they had their own private elevator as well. The master bathroom had a beautiful marble shower and a separate bathtub. Juliana stood at the beautiful shower and sighed before looking over at Jason who Chunk had just wheeled into the bathroom. How she wished she could use this shower like she did in her apartment. She placed a hand on her swollen belly and smiled at the fond memory. It was in that shower that she was given her twin girls.

 

 

 

Jason looked around at the shower and the bathtub and began to cry.

 

 

 

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Juliana asked, putting an arm around Jason.

 

 

 

“It’s so beautifoo, but I can’t use any of it. I can’t get in dat sower or da basstub,” Jason cried.

 

 

 

Chunk bent down in front of Jason so he was eye to eye with the older man.

 

 

 

“Actually, that was going to be a surprise, but I’ll go ahead and let you in on it. We will be putting in a shower chair for you so your live-in nurse can give you showers, or if Juliana wants to, she can as well…after the girls are born, of course.” Chunk winked at Juliana. “As for the bathtub, we have a lift system ordered, and it should be here in a few days. That way, your nurse can lift you out of your chair and into the bathtub.”

 

 

 

Jason was so grateful for everything Chunk and the team had done for Juliana and himself. It was beyond what words could express.

 

 

 

Chunk took them up to the top floor of their penthouse and out on to the patio area. It was a nice warm day. Juliana looked over and saw a pool.

 

 

 

“Look honey, we even have our own pool! Daniel and the girls are going to love this!” Juliana exclaimed.

 

 

 

“Dere’s only one prob-yem. I can’t move anyting in here,” Jason lamented, hanging his head.

 

 

 

He loved the apartment, but he felt useless as too being able to move into it.

 

 

 

“Don’t you worry about that. The team and I will be moving the stuff from your apartments into this one starting in just a few days. It should be all ready to settle into once you’re released from rehab.” Chunk patted Jason on the shoulder.

 

 

 

Jason sighed, his face suddenly darkening with worry as he remembered just how soon would be released from the rehab center. “But who’s going to take care of me after I come home?”

 

“Relax, Jason.” Chunk smiled warmly, squeezing Jason’s arm. “I’ve spoken with your care team, and until you are able to find a nurse, I’ll be the one taking care of you.”

 

“Dat’s…not necessary,” Jason replied softly, faced flushed as he looked away from Chunk.

 

“Yes. It is!” Chunk insisted, taking Jason by both hands. “You’ve done so much for me. Giving me an amazing job at TAC, helping me get into law school…Please. Let me do this for you.”

 

Jason could feel Chunk’s kind eyes on him, but he was too ashamed to look up and face the younger man.

 

“I know you’re embarrassed about your situation,” Chunk acknowledged, gently lifting Jason’s chin. “But you don’t need to feel that way with me. Jason, you are so strong! Anyone else wouldn’t have survived what you did. But you’re here; alive, determined, and getting better every day! I respect the hell out of you, Jason! The fact that you need a little extra help doesn’t change that.”

 

 

 

Finally, Jason was able to face Chunk, looking at him with grateful eyes and the smallest of smirks.

 

“Please,” Chunk pleaded. “Let me help my friend.”

 

His smirk growing a little bigger, Jason nodded. “Okay. Tank you, Tunk.”

 

Chunk smiled, pulling up a lawn chair – which he had bought as part of a set for the family – and placing it next to Jason’s wheelchair. “Now, while don’t the two of you sit out here and enjoy this beautiful day for a few minutes before I take you back to the center?” he suggested, leading Juliana to the chair and helping her take a seat.

 

Juliana’s eyes met Jason’s, and his heart swelled as their fingers intertwined. And as they turned their gazes forward, watching sunset cover the city in its golden light, Jason truly felt he was the luckiest man in the world.

 

BullBullBullBullBull

 

Jason’s spirits quickly fell as the automatic doors to the rehab center open and Chunk wheeled him inside. He knew he only had a week left until he could go home. But every second apart from Juliana felt like an eternity. And spending time with her in their future home, where they would raise their family, made this parting even more painful.

 

“Jason? Sweetie?”

 

Turning towards the sound of Juliana’s musical voice, Jason tried his best to smile at the beautiful woman, who looked at him with a loving concern.

 

“Just because we’ve brought you back here, doesn’t mean the visit is over,” Juliana grinned, giving Jason a knowing wink.

 

Jason looked up, confused, as Juliana and Chunk exchanged knowing glances; wondering what secret they could possibly be keeping.

 

“Welcome back, Dr. Bull,” nurse Matt greeted, as the trio entered the stroke unit. “I’m guessing you’ve already had dinner?”

 

Jason nodded, smirking up at the young man.

 

“All right. You go on to your room, and I’ll meet you there in a few minutes,” Matt told Jason, clearly glad to see his patient so happy.

 

 

Chunk rolled Jason into his room. Before the group could get settled they heard a woman singing.

 

“They see me rolling with my new wheels!” Taylor came rolling in operating a power chair.

 

 

“Taylor!” Jason exclaimed.

 

 

 

“Hey, Dr. Bull. Got some pretty sweet wheels here I think you will want to check out!” Taylor smiled. “Now that you’re a little stronger, I thought you might like a bit of independence.” 

 

Jason blinked back the tears he could feel welling up in his eyes. The freedom to move around on his own was something he never thought he’d have again.

 

 

“T…t..ay..lor…”Jason stammered, as the younger woman smiled at him. “I don’t know what to say. Tank you.”

 

 

 

Looking around at the loving faces that surrounded him, Jason felt overwhelmed with gratitude. He had started the day feeling scared and overwhelmed about an uncertain future outside of the safety of the rehab center. But now he had a spacious penthouse to raise his family in, and a way to move around it freely.

More importantly, he had a beautiful woman to share his life with, and friends who had gone above and beyond to help give him the best possible life after his near death experience and long, painful recovery.

 

Jason felt loved. He felt hopeful. And in spite of all he had lost, at this moment, he felt like the luckiest man in the world.

 

“Hey. Jason?” Chunk’s voice gently called him back to the moment. “You ready to learn to use this thing?” he asked, tapping Jason’s new power chair.

 

Jason nodded, smirking at the younger man, happy tears now trickling down his cheek. And as Chunk lifted Jason up out of the manual wheelchair, he felt a strange rush of excitement at the possibility of once again being independent.


	21. Familiar Face, New Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long between updates. To keep the story as canon compliant as possible, we've made some changes, replacing Cable with Taylor, and briefly mentioning Marissa's marriage. So you might want to go back and reread from the beginning.
> 
> ~ The Peachy Monkey

Jason had been back at TAC for three weeks, and while things didn't exactly feel "back to normal", he was glad to return to the life he'd known before getting shot, contributing as best he could.

He would meet with clients, though he preferred to let the rest of the team do the talking. He was, after all, still extremely self-conscious about his speech. It had improved considerably, though it took him a little extra time to say the consonants he once struggled with, causing his words to come out in slow stutters. For this reason, Jason also had not yet returned to court.

Still, Juliana had to smile as she watched Jason roll around with authority in his power wheelchair. Maybe he wasn't yet as confident as he used to be, but there was no question he was in charge.

But as Jason rolled up to Juliana, he slowed down considerably, approaching his pregnant fiancée with care. It was a tender side he reserved only for Juliana, Daniel, and the unborn twins; those he loved most in the world.

"Jul-lee-ana...I have to meet with a c-cl-lient now," Jason began, pausing to put a hand on Juliana's large bump. "You gonna be all right?"

Juliana smiled, placing a hand lovingly over Jason's. "I - we - will be fine."

"You need - ?"

"Jason? We gotta go," Benny interrupted his friend, almost apologetically.

"Go on," Juliana said softly. "I was going to get some lunch anyway. Would you like me to pick something up for you?" she asked, addressing both Jason and Benny.

"Nah, we're good, thanks," Benny politely declined, answering for both men. "We'll probably end up ordering in during the meeting."

"Be careful out there," Jason urged, rubbing a hand protectively over Juliana's belly.

"I will, I promise," Juliana reassured Jason, both touched and amused at how overprotective Jason was being. "I love you, sweetie bear."

"I love you too," Jason whispered, kissing Juliana's bump.

With one last look into Juliana's blue eyes, Jason turned his wheelchair around, rolling away alongside Benny to meet with their client.

Juliana smiled after them for a moment, before turning around herself to head for the elevator.

Wincing as she put her hand on the small of her back, Juliana wondered how she was possibly going to carry the twins to term. She was already enormous, the weight of "the big guy's" big babies weighing down her naturally petite frame.

Juliana had barely taken two steps when she heard the elevator ding open and saw a young woman get out. She was pretty, and looked to be in her mid 20s. She had naturally straight and thick medium brown hair that hung to her shoulders. She looked as though no hair had been misplaced by the NYC wind. Her fair skin looked so soft and smooth, her blue eyes brought out by the eye makeup she was wearing. She was well put together in a fitted black designer dress and heels. There was something familiar about her, though Juliana couldn't quite put her finger on it at the moment.

"Can I help you?" Juliana asked, approaching the woman.

"I hope so," the woman answered, smiling at Juliana, as her eyes couldn't help drifting to the older woman's prominent bump. "I'm looking for Dr. Jason Bull."

"Jason is meeting with a client now," Juliana informed the woman. "But if you leave me your contact info, I can tell him you stopped by."

"Of course." The woman reached into her Louis Vuitton purse that hung on her arm, pulling out a business card. "My name is Allora Carter. I'm a reporter with - "

"I remember," Juliana gasped, the word "reporter" taking her back to one of the worst nights of her life. "I saw you on TV, the night Jason was shot."

"Yes, I was on the scene that night," Allora nodded in confirmation. "I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Juliana Hudson. I'm Dr. Bull's fiancée."

"Oh," Allora responded quietly. "I'm sorry. Seeing my face must bring back some bad memories for you."

"It does," Juliana admitted. "But not as bad as it would have before. Jason is doing a lot better now. I'm really proud of him," she said, her face lighting up.

"That is wonderful to hear. His story is truly inspirational. Since I was the one that covered the shooting that night, I wanted to do a follow up story with Dr. Bull of his triumph comeback. A "where are they now" if you will."

"Well…I'll bring it up to him," Juliana said hesitantly. "But you have to understand; Jason had to basically learn how to speak all over again. He's doing well now, but he still gets embarrassed about public speaking. Honestly, I don't know if he's ready yet."

"I understand. It must have been hard for him, having to start all over," Allora acknowledged sympathetically. "What about - "

"I'm sorry," Juliana interrupted. "But I really need to go. It's hard for me to be on my feet for too long. Plus, my driver is waiting downstairs to take me to lunch."

"Sorry to keep you. I would never want to get between a pregnant woman and her lunch," Allora laughed, reaching into her purse, presumably to take out a business card. Then, she suddenly paused, pulling her hand out of her purse and zipping it closed.

"On second thought, do you mind if I join you for lunch? My teat! It would be nice to get to know the future Mrs. Jason Bull."

"Uh…this wouldn't count as an interview for your story, would it?" Juliana asked suspiciously.

"I promise I have no ulterior motives," Allora assured Juliana. "Everything you say to me will be off the record. I was just hoping to maybe make a new friend."

"Well…"Juliana grinned. "Free food does taste better. And I do like making friends. Sure. That sounds great!"

"Awesome! Do you…?" Allora looked Juliana up and down. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you look like you could use some help getting around. Would you like me to help you?"

"Thank you. That would be great," Juliana said tiredly. "I find it's harder and harder to keep my balance these days."

"Happy to be of service." Allora held out an arm, interlocking it with Juliana's. "Shall we?"

As the two women entered the elevator, Juliana couldn't explain why, but she felt an immediate trust towards Allora. Somehow, she knew the two of them were going to be great friends.


End file.
